Eclectic Well of Knowledge & Confusion

When the Past Comes Flooding Back

2012-01-20T12:17:00.001-05:00

When I was a child, I loved marbles. I still do. I have a largecollection of old marbles, ranging from nineteenth century hand rolled claymarbles, up to the beautiful glass marbles made in the West Virginia glassfactories in the early to mid twentieth century. A relatively inexpensivehobby, but one that brings me a great deal of joy.

Recently, I spotted a marble on Ebay that took me back intime to my childhood. I had owned a marble quite like it, my favorite glasssphere when I was seven or eight years old. Somewhere through the yearsfrom childhood to my time as a teenager, the marble was lost. I have thoughtabout it occasionally as time has marched on, actually looked for it in myparent's old house years ago, but the marble was gone. Here was an exactduplicate of the marble, for sale on Ebay. I bid and won. While holding themarble in my hand, examining it, many memories flooded my mind. The happy timesof growing up, and the dark, sinister memories no child should have.

A yellow marblewith a brownish-purplish patch on one side. Not the prettiest marble, but onethat had the power to fill my mind with the past, and force me to think of thethings of childhood from an adult perspective. How marvellous and disturbingthat an object can become a powerful totem, reducing us both to tears andsmiles at the same time, if we only take the time to allow it. Introspection isbeneficial for the soul. Sometimes, however, it takes a link to the past to driveus onto the trail of memories and emotional development.

A Bit of New Year Ramble

2012-01-14T19:15:00.000-05:00

Knowing what is non-negotiable in life is important. Ethics should not be negotiated for profit or emotional manipulation. Refusing to build relationships without negotiation, however, is impossible. Give and take are the building stones of relationships. Communities, families, and friendships function better when we acknowledge other points of view. Valuable lessons may be learned through the experience of someone else.

Some people are non-negotiable about most everything. These people alienate or cut off those who disagree with them on a variety of issues, robbing themselves of in depth relationships with people from a variety of backgrounds and experiences. What is life without the variety of people who walk into it, challenging our way of thinking, our preconceptions, our comfort zones? Those same people can become life long friends who provide not only a richness to our lives, but a support team in time of trouble. I can not imagine my life without those who are a part of it. I don't think we cross paths with others without the ability to share, give, and take from those relationships , both parties gaining from the experience. We open our emotions to risk. Trust can be violated, hurt can occur, but we learn and grow from the pain as well as happiness in our dealings with others. I try to build relationships because I become a better person through my interactions with other people.

Gingrich...Faintly Familiar

2011-12-19T23:41:00.000-05:00

After studying Nazi Germany in depth for several months, I am a bit disconcerted to see connections between Germany in the 1920s and 30s, the rise of Hitler, and the current American situation involving Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich.
Gringrich recently said he would ignore court rulings when he felt it necessary, and remove judges from the bench if he found their rulings to not be as he wants them.

Hitler and the Nazi party took a similar line, removing judges and placing party members on the bench. Hitler was given limited powers as Reich Chancellor, which became permanent over time. Can we see a Congress controlled by Gingrich followers doing something similar? Extending presidential powers during an emergency that become permanent?

Gingrich is not only an immoral and unethical person, he is dangerous as well. Keeping him out of office may be a challenge, but it must be done.

Not my fault!

2011-10-16T22:59:00.002-04:00

Recently I listened as a college student who has failed classes, retaken classes, and consistently made Cs and Ds trash one of the best and brightest professors on campus. The reason? The professor was kind enough to encourage the student to withdraw since the student was headed toward failure. The student's anger was not at himself for doing lousy work, nor was it directed at whomever told him he was prepared for college when he clearly is not. His rage was aimed at the professor, who hold degrees from top tier schools, is articulate and a great lecturer.

I see this attitude quite often. Blame others for your own shortcomings. Students, including those who drop, will be able to fill out a form rating the professor. This student plans to attack in a nasty way. The professor's ratings from students play a part in evaluations, tenure, and job security. A real shame that people who are not prepared for academic rigors can ruin the career of one the best and brightest minds on a campus.

College is not easy, nor is it a continuation of high school. We need to stop dumbing down students. We must teach them to look for the real source of their problems, own up, take responsibility. Clear lines need to be drawn between students ready for college, and those that need to attend a trade school . Start by not calling trade schools "technical colleges". Make the lines definitive. Allow high school teachers to instill the concepts of reason, respect, and responsibility in young people. Are my actions or words reasonable? Do I treat others with respect? I am responsible for my own failures and shortcomings. What a difference those three concepts can make. Let's use them.

Nine -Eleven Musings

2011-09-10T21:37:00.002-04:00

Ten years since the events that changed life for all citizens of the free world forever. The horror of that day and the months that followed scarred most Americans, and many others people world-wide. I think there are few minds that do not have the image of airplanes flying into buildings, of people jumping to their deaths rather than burn, of flames and dust and the face of fear and confusion stamped into their memories.

There are people who think September 11th should become a National holiday in the United States. I disagree. I don't ever want the date to become what Veterans Day and Memorial Day have become. Days without meaning to the vast majority of Americans. Days of picnics and cookouts, with little thought given to their actual meaning. I certainly don't want the date to fall the way of Armistice Day...non-existent.

Let September 11th become a National Day of Mourning. Remember, reflect, learn. Let us leave no room for that date to become a distant memory mentioned briefly at the company picnic by future generations. No frivolities, please.

How to Make Good Grades in College

2011-08-04T10:34:00.000-04:00

Just finished summer semester. I took nine hours of classes, which included one class that lasted a month. Five hours lectures twice a week, mid term exam the third week of class. One of the most intense and stressful semesters so far, and I was expecting to get a B in all three classes. I wound up with three A's, and a 4.0 average for the semester. My current cumulative GPA is 3.5, an A.

A friend whose grandchild is heading off for college in a couple of weeks asked my to tell the kid my secret, so here it is:
Don't skip class. Show up on time and at least look like you are interested. Whether you like the subject or professor is irrelevant . Pay attention.

Study. Yeah, study along instead of trying to cram it all in at one time. That way you can get some sleep the night before an exam, which helps a lot.

Read the assigned reading material. This is where so many people screw up. READ THE BOOKS. Keep up with it. The information will come back to you on tests.

Do the assigned work and turn it in on time. Don't turn papers in late, the point drop will hurt you. Do your best on papers, check your grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Always write a first draft, then re-write it over the next couple of days. NEVER wait until the night before a paper is due, and write the whole thing.

Take advantage of extra credit, whether you need it or not. Even if I have an A average, I do extra credit assignments.

That is pretty much it. Show up, read, write, do it all on time. This will pretty much get you a B. Going the extra mile in studying will get you an A. Laying out of class because it is raining, you partied too hard the night before, or you find it boring will lower your scores every time.

Consumer mentality

2011-07-03T23:47:00.000-04:00

Consumer driven culture is growing. I see it in two predominate places, religion and higher education. Churches now market themselves to the public, seeking new members much like Costco or Sam's Club. You can get the most bang for your buck at our church, and we change what we do and how we do it to suit the wants of the majority. Churches are no longer meeting houses for those of like minded spiritual beliefs, but department stores for those with similar tastes.

Many colleges treat students as customers, tabulating their opinions, likes and dislikes about both faculty and staff. I watched as two professors I respect have been trashed in these student review forms, simply because students were unhappy about the work load or their grades, or the professors policies in the classroom. One professor resigned and moved to another state. What did he do the upset students?

The coursework was very difficult. He reviewed before exams, put lecture slides online for student use, offered several extra credit assignments, and actually gave a point a day for those in attendance who were on time. Students continued to skip class, show up late, and not do the extra credit work. He dared to teach a difficult subject. I actually spoke with him after the semester ended, and he told me he had been shredded alive in the student reviews.

Why is the consumer culture taking hold? Perhaps because everything is up for sale. Absolutes are a thing of the past. Competition for church members and student money is keen, even in small churches and less competitive schools. Ethics are in question, and respect based on position is fading away. Respect for a college or university professor is a thing of the past. The concept of a church as a house of worship is now considered simplistic and unappealing to the current cultural norm.

Consumer mentality is shaping both religion and education. The results may be disastrous.

First Church of the Cold Hearted

2011-05-25T12:14:00.001-04:00

Thanks to the ultra conservative movement, many people now view Christianity as a political entity, rather than a spiritual one. The rising number of Christians involved in the Tea Party movement in the United States, the rallying around the writings of atheist Ayn Rand, and a general animosity toward the poor, oppressed, unemployed, and those who struggle to get by leave a bad taste in the mouths of many who otherwise might consider Christianity to be a viable means of faith.

The idea of Christianity being a religion that helps the downtrodden, the hungry and the abused is draining from the church, much like a radiator flush, and with as much fan fair. The fear of "social gospel" has taken away care and concern for those who struggle. Now, the radical message of Christ is presented in a half-fashion...tell them the good news of Christ's death,burial, and resurrection, but don't toss some bread to them while you tell them. Their hunger pangs matter not. Few seem to stop and think that if you are being evicted, your kids are being taken away because you can't feed them, or you have no way to pay your heating bill, you probably are not interested in your eternal destiny. The very real here and now take precedent.

Christians are mandated to not only tell others about Christ (a whole other blog on how we screw that up) but to help the poor and oppressed. Widows are not as common as they once were, but the poor are, as Jesus said , always with us. He did not tell us to call them bums and not help them. In fact, the opposite.

Until Christians once again see that part of the gospel of Christ is a social gospel, that liberation theology has roots in the scriptural representation of how Christ walked on Earth, the faith will continue to slide downhill into a political party.

Who is John Gault? A cold hearted bastard that in no way reflected the life of Christ. Why imitate him?

Mental Health in the church

2011-04-30T12:37:00.000-04:00

He was juggling...and dropping the balls. He was new to the ministry. Just out of college, pastoring a church that he describes as enthusiastic and growing, a friendly church that had something going on every night of the week. He stepped into an "easy" church to pastor. A few years later, he found him self in the burning wreckage of what had been. He was out of a position, and close to being out of pastoral ministry altogether. Why? Trying to hold his family together as his wife's mental illness got worse, trying to hide her situation from both denominational officials and the church membership, and attempting to cover up or excuse his wife's bizarre actions and comments at church, and trying, for a while, to be both mother and father to their kids.

In order to become a pastor in any credible denomination, that person must achieve educational goals, pass review committees, be nominated by others in the ministry, and undergo training. Their spouse, teenagers, in-laws and other family members don't. Yet, their jobs are on the line when family members attend that church they pastor and cause breeches either ethically, morally, or cause situations due to their mood swings or mental illness. That was the case with this young pastor. His wife's behavior and his fear of people finding out the cause led him on a stressful path of cover-up and controversy.

At no time did he seek psychiatric help for his wife. In fact, he believed medications for emotional illness was a sin. He decided to depend on God to heal his wife, but the situation grew worse. As she declared people within their church in need of deliverance from demons, he stood by her. As she claimed to have a special sense of discernment from God that enabled her to "see" who needed to be cut lose from the church, or shunned until they left, he found scripture to bend in accordance with her prophecies. All to hide the truth. He missed appointments and was late to meetings, fearing leaving her alone at home with their children.

Needless to say, at some point things boiled over, the church that once ran around 300 members had around 25 left, and the bills could not be paid. the denomination finally stepped in. Too late, the church died. Could it have been avoided? Certainly. The stigma of mental illness in the church is still here in the 21st century. If this pastor had insisted his wife get professional help, the whole fiasco could have been avoided, but fear and shame took their toll.

Mental illness is just as real as physical illness, and many times is the result of organic problems in the brain...it IS a physical illness. Emotional trauma can cause problems years down the road, as anyone who has been a victim of Traumatic Stress Disorder, sexual abuse, or bullying can tell you.

Time for the church to promote mental health, instead of labeling it a spiritual problem. If this is done, we will see people getting help instead of heaping more pain on their own heads. Mental Health is not the same as spiritual health, although the two influence each other. Let's get rid of the stigma and shame.

Life as a nontraditional student

2011-04-04T22:40:00.000-04:00

I get asked quite often if I believe everything professors say. The reasoning being that as an older, wiser person, I can discern between accurate facts and Phd. malarkey. Fair enough. My answer is no, I don't believe everything told to us in the classroom, and, no, I am not intimidated by people with advanced degrees. That being said, I normally find my professors to be accurate in their lectures, and I don't see a vast, educated conspiracy to turn young people into cat loving atheists who disrespect the American way of life.

Are my professors nice people? Ninety-nine percent are decent human beings, and most are helpful and truly interested in student success. Once in a while you get someone who is much too impressed with his or her self to make much of an impact on anything other than their own bad scores on www.ratemyprofessor.com . Arrogance is not a scare commodity these days, and certainly those who have worked long and hard to get a doctoral degree can have an attitude, but I have seen little of it.

Do I recommend college for other older people? If you have a passion for becoming more educated, and are computer literate, have excellent reading and writing skills, and are not horrified by the "F" bomb being dropped like rain, go for it. Young people LOVE the F word, so you have to get used to it. Campus reminds me of a movie about Vietnam, language-wise. If you are not computer and Internet savvy, hate to read, or are a generally lazy person, don't bother. Waste of your time and money.

College campuses are seeing an increase in older students. I never feel out of place or alone. I am one of many students over 40 who are back in school. If you have the skills, I highly recommend giving the college classroom a try.

Update

2011-03-13T22:23:00.000-04:00

Have not blogged in a while, so this is an update on what is going on. The last weekend of January I moved to a great old craftsmen style house built in 1935. I love it. While moving however, we had a bone-chilling cold rain that lasted several days. I was soaked, and injured my leg.
Lack of health insurance meant I could not go to the doctor, even though the pain was very intense. A nurse friend said I had burst a capillary in the bend behind my knee, and pulled several muscles in that same leg. My knee was swollen and feverish, and the skin behind my knee where the capillary burst cracked open from swelling, and fluid leaked out. Did I mention the PAIN?

Oh, and this was going on during the school semester, and I have been taking classes on two different campuses, so basically I have been exhausted, in pain, and then there was the virus. Blogging was not at the top of my list of priorities.

Here we are over a month later, and my leg still aches, although nothing like before. I don't have to pick up my pantleg to move my leg out of my vehicle because the swelling while driving has kept my knee from bending. Yeah.
I seem to be on the mend, and hope to blog before too long. Grateful for the house that is mold and mildew free, unlike the place I rented. My allergies improved within days. No leaks in the roof, no scary neighbors.
Good times, except for the leg pain.

For Those Who Given Up on Traditional Church

2011-01-30T09:55:00.000-05:00

http://vimeo.com/16714049

Grow Up

2011-01-24T19:08:00.000-05:00

I sat back and watched as a drama unfolded in an online discussion group. Someone who had been shown much mercy, much grace, finally went over the line one time too many, and was called on the carpet. Now that person is angry, posting diatribes about their alleged mistreatment, but not saying anything about his actions or words.

The reason? He is still oblivious to the fact that people long ago figured out some of his behavior off line, and are tired of his words and actions online. He sees himself as he has since I have been interacting with him on the internet: a victim. What he is in reality: a needy person who has some very deep issues, and who craves approval from people in power. So tattling to website administrators concerning what people do or say at other sites, trying to get a pat on the head from moderators, and things of that ilk are his way of getting what he must not have in real life: approval and a sense of worth.

For years I have watched people bend over backwards to help and accommodate this person. This week it stopped, and the whining commenced. I have been thinking about the best way to deal with people like this. We all have them in our lives. They are never at fault. Their boss/mommy/spouse/coach does not like them. Everyone is mean to them. People don't play fair with them. I have come to the conclusion that after giving them clear opportunities to see their own actions, chances to change their words or deeds, we must let them go if improvement does not happen.

We have all been victims at some point in our lives. Most of us get over it. Enabling the behavior by making excuses for it, or overlooking in time and again only reinforces it. Cut them loose.

What's up?

2011-01-04T12:10:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I begin another semester of classes. Within the next couple of weeks I will be moving to a new place. I only have one history class this semester, but will knock out another level of Spanish, another education class, and also American Literature. I look forward to the lit class, as I almost majored in English, but am frustrated a lit class did not transfer in from a past institution for some reason.

I am probably happier than I have been in years, and want to talk a bit about why.

1. I have funding for school and a bit to live on. I got out of debt some years ago, and am so glad I hung on to my ancient truck instead of getting a new car a couple of years ago. A true blessing.

2. Losing my job was Earth shattering, but it was a job I found boring and frustrating, and there were situations that made that job hellish. I am in a much better frame of mine, have regained the self confidence I had lot for the years I worked there, and am my old chipper self again.

3. I am learning things I did not know, learning new concepts. That should be a life long experience for everyone, in my opinion.

4. Interactions with people from different walks of life, age groups, ideologies, and such. I did not realize how ingrown I had become, interacting with the same people year after year. I love the people in my life, but getting out and involved with a larger variety of people is a fantastic experience.

5. I feel like I am doing what I was meant to do. NOTHING beats that. NOTHING.

I am fully aware than disaster could come today, and everything could change. For right now, however, I am happy. What more could I ask for without being selfish?

Differences...a good thing.

2010-12-31T20:40:00.000-05:00

I hate war. I don't like sweet pickles. I love rainy days. I love to read books. I hate suffering. I like butterscotch. I love 7Up. I dislike people who are control freaks. I like fog. I hate car trouble. I love the smell of leather. I despise ignorance. I like chocolate. I hate oppression. I love friends. I love coffee. I hate narrow minds. I love Jazz, classical , and old time rock and roll.

We are all different. Our tastes run in different directions. That is a good thing. Without the differences, boredom would be a constant companion. Let's celebrate our variety.

When Hurt Takes Our Breath Away.

2010-12-30T22:37:00.000-05:00

The couple wants a child desperately. They would be great parents. They look around at crack moms, teen parents who are too busy being teens to raise children, and kids virtually tossed into the system by parents who have no love or desire to care for them. Infertility is the mountain in this couple's lives. Adoption fees and waits are outrageous. "Fair" is not a term that seems to apply.

Another woman has worked hard all of her life. She has raised her kids alone. She is tired. midway through life she loses her job. The job she sacrificed a lot for. The job she moved half way across the country to get. Now her home, car, everything is in jeopardy. Certainly "fair:" is not an operable term here, either.

The young man has worked hard to make the grades to get into a prestigious school. His parents pushed him with the promise of sending him there if he got in. He was accepted, but now his parents can't afford the school, due to some bad planning on their part. After the hard work, he may end up at the local open enrollment community college. He feels cheated and lied to.

He has worked in a hot, dirty outdoor job all of his life. He has been retired for less than a year, scrimping to get by. He has now been diagnosed with diabetes. He can't afford the insulin. He can't go without it. All those years of work, and now he is in this condition.

She is a widow. She raised five kids, sacrificing and doing without for them. Now , with her husband dead, she needs to not live alone. None of the kids will take her in. They shop for nursing homes, even though she only needs a bit of help and company. She feels used and abandoned.

These are all people I have had contact with this year. All in pain. All hurting so badly it takes their breath away at times. Why doesn't God fix the pain, repair the wrong, make things right? We tend to have glib answers. God does things in His timing, not ours. He is trying to teach a lesson. We reap what we sow. Don't question God. All answers that are dust in the wind to those in pain. Sometimes we need to be honest and say we don't know why things are not set right. Sometimes they are never set right. Free will means the humans in our lives, and those who have either a direct or indirect impact on our lives get to make bad choices. We are not cookie cutters. God is not the Wizard of Oz, either.

I don't have the answers. I only know that in my pain, my grief, my despair and loneliness, at some point a bit of light peeked through, and eventually the light grew. My experience. Not necessarily yours. I don't know how you feel. I don't know your pain. I won't sit here and tell you it will be all right, or that things will work out. They may not work out at all. I can only say look for the small pinhole of light. I think that is God reaching for us.

2010 leaves us

2010-12-29T21:06:00.000-05:00

2010 was a good year for me. It started out with a return to college full time, a very good thing. I made new friends and stretched myself further than I thought I could go. My finances held up, and as I write this, I am preparing to move in January to a new home. Much needed due to the mold issues and maintenance problems where I now rent. My circumstances have changed virtually overnight for the better.

As we prepare to usher in 2011, we see rising oil prices, unemployment maintaining high rates, and an economy that is too slow in recovering. I have several friends facing huge financial burdens and possible job loss. Yet, I feel optimistic about the upcoming year. 2009 was a year of unemployment, financial hardships, and huge car repairs for me. What a difference a year made! Perhaps 2011 will be a year of change for many other people. A year of hope and progressive economics.

I Heard The Bells

2010-12-15T09:27:00.001-05:00

My favorite Christmas carol is "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day". They story behind the song is what I find most appealing, but there is much more to it than faith lost and found during the American Civil War by a renowned poet. The message is timeless. Peace on Earth . God is not dead, nor doth He sleep. There is a promise of hope in this carol, and in uncertain times, in a war with economic hardships (sound familiar?) Longfellow wrote his poem, later turned into song, during great distress. It stands firm as a classic not just of the Christmas season, but in it's honesty about when faith is lacking, and redemption from despair. Redemption, reconciliation.
A modern version by Casting Crowns

Friends

2010-12-11T22:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight I am grateful more than ever for friends. The people who know your dirt, and don't care. The people that confess their dirt to you, and it doesn't matter. The ones that defend your motives when your actions are wrong, and are honest enough to talk to you when you go over the line.

Those friendships are part of what makes life good, and when life is at it's worst, they are what make it bearable. A big thanks to my friends. You have seen me through dark days, and allowed me to share in yours. The privilege, and blessing is mine.

Like Minded People

2010-12-11T18:54:00.001-05:00

I love having a large variety of friends. Different ages, cultures, religions, and racial groupings. I never want to a person who only wants to be around like minded people...people who agree with me, dress like me, worship God like me, or think like me. I doubt I could find one if I tried.

The problem is that without intellectual stimulation from people from different walks of life, you tend to stagnate. Maybe that is the appeal of such living: I won't be challenged, and I won't ever have to realize my perceptions are off base or totally wrong. Mental and spiritual stunting takes place. People who won't engage in communication with those who are not carbon copies of themselves wind up bland, boring, and dim. They never grow, never see life as it is, and are stuck in a sepia world, when all the colors of the rainbow would be theirs if they would get outside the shell they are encased in. Sadly, some churches encourage this with their interpretation of "be ye separate" and "come ye apart."

The result is shunning of others with whom they don't agree, and demanding that an entire church or group of friends shun the people that don't fit their mold, or their incestuous world view. I won't be that way. I want all the colors of life that a variety of people can bring. I think it is the example Jesus gave at the Wedding at Canna, and when He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. Sometimes those robes of righteousness people love to wear are covered with their own dirt, but they don't see it. Blindness to their own faults is another output of the ingrown crowd.

Milestone In Georgia History

2010-12-09T10:48:00.002-05:00

The University of Georgia marks the 50th anniversary of desegregation of the university system of Georgia this January. Charlayne Hunter and Hamilton Holmes bravely registered for classes, endured threats, mobs outside of dorms, insults hurled, and other offense as they started their educational journeys. Hunter is a nationally acclaimed journalist, and Holmes, now deceased, was a prominent physician. Certainly they are credits to the school they almost didn't get into.

Governor Vandiver, who, although a segregationist,after wafflling over the matter a bit did not stand in the way of the decision that was made by a very, very brave Judge William Augustus Bootle. Under the Governorship of Eugene Talmadge, colleges and universities in the state that were for white students had lost their accreditation after Talmadge purged the Board of Regents, put his yes men on board, and began firing any professors, presidents, and deans that he deemed to be against segregation. The Cocking Affair, as it is known, drew embarrassing attention to the state. Another governor did little but riddle the Governor's office with scandal. Fortunately, when Vandiver came into office, he worked diligently to disallow governors from sitting on state boards and worked to get the schools quickly re- accredited. Under his administration the county unit system that had Georgia elections locked up by the rural, white voters was done away with.

Yet many public elementary, middle, and secondary schools were not desegregated until 1969 in Georgia. When that decision was rendered, Judge Bootle found over 1,500 angry whites in front of his house. Police had to disperse the crowd. Judge Bootle also integrated the Bibb County school bus system, and made other very important, yet difficult decisions that brought threats upon his life, and those of his family members.

Wheels of progress have always turned slowly in Georgia, but men like Judge Bootle pushed the state forward, away from the rural segregationist policies of Eugene Talmadge, and toward better treatment and opportunity for all of Georgia's citizens. While we remember the bravery of Holmes and Hunter, let's also remember Bootle and Vandiver as well.

"Aha " Moments

2010-11-18T17:59:00.001-05:00

Occasionally I have a profound, heart stopping, tears in the eyes moment of realization. The "aha" moment, as one of my professors calls them. A blip on my radar screen when suddenly something become clear through the fuzziness and static of life. The fog rolls away, and understanding rolls in. One of those moments happened when I was seventeen.

My father died when I was thirteen. My mother struggled to support four kids. We did not know at the time that she suffered from manic depression. The mood swings, the raging temper followed by sobbing for days on end combined with grief to leave her incapable of much of anything for several years. She threatened suicide on a daily basis. I would get up during the night and peep in her room to see if she was still breathing. That went on for years. Those were hard times, and I was not aware of the emotional toll it took on me. Years slowly went by, and although things improved, it did not take much to set my mother off into a rage, or into a downward spiral that kept her locked in her bedroom.

When I was seventeen, I decided to do something special for my mother. One of the first gifts my father had given her was a watch. The watch had stopped working years before, and I decided that if I could get if repaired for her birthday, it would cheer her up. I took the watch to Tedder's Jewelers. As I walked in the shop, I felt as though I was walking back in time. Time seemed to have stood still. Old clocks of every kind hung on the walls. An elderly gentlemen stood behind the counter, wearing a white long sleeve shirt and a blue striped tie. I showed him the watch, and explained what I wanted.

He held the watch up, and as he did so, his shirt sleeve slid back. On his wrist was a small line of tattooed numbers. I stared. He was talking to me, but I don't think I heard him. All I could do was stare at his wrist. I knew what the numbers meant. I knew where the man had been, and I had some vague impression of the hell he had endured at one time. I suppose he thought I was a nutty teenager, as tears slid down my face. I don't remember much else about the visit to the repair shop, other than the watch could not be fixed. I do remember realizing that the world did not revolve around my troubles, my life. That this little old man has survived the Holocaust, and whatever problems I had with my mother, my friends, my teachers, none of them compared to what that man had endured. One of the first "aha" moments I remember, and one that hangs with me over thirty years later.

I have had quite a few "aha' moments over my lifetime, but one happened recently in a class that still has me reeling. The professor was lecturing on learning disabilities. She mentioned that one sign of possible disabilities is a child having trouble knowing left from right, and telling time. I felt as though I was being sucked through a tunnel back in time. Schools did not test for learning disabilities back then, at least not in Macon, Georgia. They did intelligence testing, but not much else other than the standard reading comprehension and mathematics tests.

I could not figure out how to tell time. I can't explain it, but I could not grasp the concept of the clock. I did not have eye problems, but the hands on the clock looked the same. I also could not tell left from right, which probably added to the "before" and "after" parts of time telling. The situation was so bad, the teacher told my mom I should be tested to see if I was "slow" or not. Keep in mind I was reading before I entered school, and did well in other subjects. The tests showed that I had a well above average I.Q. (high enough, I found out years later, to qualify for MENSA membership).

The deduction of the teacher and my parents was that I was lazy. Yes, laziness kept me from knowing right from left, or telling time. I was yelled at, ridiculed, humiliated, made fun of by the teacher to the point I would sit frozen in my desk, unable to answer her angry questions of "Do you WANT to be late where ever you go???" "Do you WANT to take wrong turns all of your life???"

I was in high school before I figured out if I write with my right hand, I could visualize being at an intersection, and "see " my hands in front of me in order to give someone directions. I still do this, but I am so fast at it, there is barely a pause. So if you ask me whether to turn right or left from Second Street onto Plum Street, I see my hands on the steering wheel in front of me, and see which way to turn. I was also in high school before I began to figure out a way to tell time that worked for me. I have no problems with it at all now, but I learned it differently than everyone else. I also had to teach myself.

I am smarter than average. I make good grades. I have excellent reading comprehension skills. I write fifteen page research papers that read like a best selling novel. Yet, my life to a large degree has been shaped by my third grade self. A very scared little girl with pigtails who was made to feel first stupid, then lazy. I have worked hard all of my life to show that I am not either of those things. In fact, I have been obsessed with it. Shame does something horrible to adults. Imagine what it does to children.

Hopefully I will be teaching high school history in a few years. I don't know if I will be an interesting or a boring teacher. I know one thing, however. I will never be the teacher that emotionally abuses students. I won't be the teacher that encourages parents to make life a living hell for their child because the child is "lazy". Like physicians, the first order for teachers should be "do no harm".

Attitude

2010-10-28T21:55:00.001-04:00

This says it all

History teaches us how to live, doesn't it?

Life as a nontraditional student

2010-10-23T20:41:00.001-04:00

This time last year I was unemployed, terrified, stressed beyond measure, and making a huge decision: Take out student loans and return to college full time to finish a degree I started a quarter of a century ago. That first semester was stressful. Constant fear of my 1992 truck dying, Attempting to learn Spanish from a professor who clearly is not a teacher, biology lab and lecture, and retaking a lower level history class that did not transfer in from my old school. Somehow, I made it through! I knew three people that fall. Two were "kids" i had taught in Sunday school when they were small. Another was a woman I had known for years, who passed away halfway through the semester. Three friendly faces in a sea of thousands.

This past summer my confidence soared as I took nine hours of upper level history classes during a concentrated semester. My air conditioning died, and I could not afford to have it repaired. I don't have insurance anymore, and came down with bronchitis. I read many books, wrote papers constantly, missed ONE class, and dripped sweat over my laptop with indoor temperatures hovering around 94 degrees most days. Did I mention the bronchitis? I was still coughing in August. I made it, however. A's and B's in my classes. I felt like I could do anything after this summer.

Now we are nearing the end of Fall semester. I am doing great in all of my classes. I am not as stressed, and now know people, so I have actual conversations. I am doing well enough in Spanish that I am thinking about picking up an A.A. degree in it. My first education class had been interesting. My two history classes are going well. I am not exhausted, near hysterics, and dismal as I was this time last year. I love college well enough that if I could get paid to go, I would go until retirement.

I am overwhelmingly grateful.

Pickett's Charge

2010-10-22T16:15:00.000-04:00

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, slaughter occurred. Not unusual in this particular war, where weapon technology far surpassed antiquated battlefield tactics. What made Gettysburg a bit different was a combination of terrain, the South's lack of information in this sudden battle, and General Lee's very faulty battle plan.

George Pickett, a Confederate General , was ordered to send his men over open terrain straight into artillery fire. No rocks, ditches, or trees to use for cover of any sort. A very long trek across an open field. The result was was the annihilation of his troops. Pickett never got over it. He blamed General Lee, and was bitter for years to come. To heap more coals on his head, many blamed Pickett himself for the disaster, including some historians. The common feeling was that he should have refused to obey a direct order from the Commander of the Army of Northern Virginia. Perhaps he should have led the charge. Rare in those days, but a thought he was confronted with after the war from many people.

I doubt that many of us have anything as heavy around our necks as Pickett did, but we all understand his anguish. Having a superior order us to do something, then we get blamed when it backfires. Always a frustrating situation. If you have a boss like General Lee, who was considered a bit of a god during the war, and raised to full god status after his death, like poor old Pickett, you just can't win.

Books are full of stories like Pickett's Charge. Lives are full of stories like Pickett's Charge. The only thing we can do after the smoke has cleared, the horses and mules and men are buried is try to learn something from the battle, and fight bitterness tooth and nail. The battles of life are what either build our character or destroy it.

Lynching: The terrorism we don't talk about

2010-10-07T14:57:00.001-04:00

I like to think that by this point in life, with history as a hobby for most of it, and quite a few official college level history courses in my pocket, I have at least a working knowledge of history. Particularly Southern history.   I was not prepared for the knowledge I have gained over the past few days. I knew that lynchings took place. I knew they still happened on occasion during my childhood. I knew that people, mostly black and mostly men, were taken out in the woods and hung by the neck. I did not know that torture, genital mutliation, and being burned alive were a part of lynching.

The more I have read, the more dark and horrific the downward spiral of information has become.   Yesterday I arrived home from classes, and a book I had ordered, "100 years of Lynching" had been delivered. The book is reprints of newspaper clippings of lynchings in America. I decided to mark with sticky flags each page that had at least one lynching in Georgia reported in it. I ran out of post-it-flags. The book now looks like a colorful circus pamplet.

The stories vary, but all have one common factor: terrorism. Keep an entire group of people from living like free human beings, like American citizens by the fear of torture, brutality, and a painful death. Make sure others of that group are well aware of what has happened. I wonder if some of the same people that castrated a black man, forced him to eat part of his genitals, the roasted him alive over a fire complained about how terrible Hitler was.   Did those men that burned a pregnant woman to death go to church services the next morning? Did those people that put a rope around a man's neck, force him to climb a tree and jump also celebrate freedom on the fourth of July?

We tend to be a bit proud in the United States that no witches were ever burned at the stake here. Yet, many blacks were burned alive, sometimes slowly, being lowered and raised by a chain over a fire so the screams would last longer. This series of crimes did not happen in the Dark Ages, nor did these acts of horror only happen to those guilty of crimes. The 20th century is filled with stories of fear and misery. Whites were also lynched, but normally not tortured first. A beating and hanging semed to suffice for the white person. Regardless, being denied a trial by jury, or being killed after being aquitted by a jury is just wrong. One white man who tried to stop a lynching of a black man was himself lynched. The lynchings caused fear not only in the black community, but among decent whites as well. Mob mentality is a scary thing, and turns the most inhumane treatment into a sport.

Are those days of attrocities gone for good?

Emotional Healing?

2010-08-15T13:00:00.001-04:00

When you have been battered emotionally, whether by a parent, spouse, church, or employer, the pain does not go away overnight. You can push it under the surface, declare yourself healed and healthy, and have it bubble to the surface from time to time, and explode around you and cause great damage on occasion.

Too many Christians believe in instant healing. They quote scripture from the life of Jesus, where he healed the lame, the blind, those with leprosy and of course the woman that had a really funky gynecological condition, a constant flow of blood. INSTANT, BABY! If you are not over your hurt and pain from what ever horrors you have suffered, you just don't trust God. YOUR FAULT!

Years ago I heard a pastor preaching along this line. A week later his wife's gall bladder ruptured. Surgery was required. She was sick and in pain for quite some time. She was not instantly healed. They had to cut her open, give her massive antibiotics, and she was very slow to heal. So here is the kicker: every instance in the Bible of instant healing was about the physical, not the emotional. The healing took place with Jesus was on Earth in human form. Physical healing today involves doctors, medicine, and sometimes surgery, and always, always, always, recovery time. Jesus is not physically on Earth, and that type of healing, raising of the dead, etc. does not happen these days.

Emotional damage is not as easily cured as most physical sickness. A friend of mine still has horror filled nightmares about his time in the Vietnam War. My step dad had blinding migraines during thunder storms. He went back to his time in England during World War Two when the bombs were falling. As deep as physical pain can be, emotional pain is far deeper. Recovery is never instant. Telling people to "get over it and move on" sounds good, but only serves to make sick people feel guilty about their sickness. Most of us would never go into an ICU unit and tell the accident victim to get over it and move on. Why do we feel the need to do so with those who have been crippled by emotional pain?

Does it mean a Christian does not trust God if they are still suffering from emotional pain or heartaches years after the pain began to occur? That is certainly implied by some church leaders. Whether physical or emotional, sickness and recovery are not instantaneous in our day and time. I don't think it is from a lack of faith or lack of prayer. Christians that imply that the pain is a result of a spiritual failing add more damage to the souls of the hurting. Time for it to stop. Making people feel like spiritual failures because of emotional or mental anquish is just as wrong as telling a cancer patient their problem is spiritual. When will Christians understand the damage they heap on each other?

Spiritual Abuse: Lambs to the Emotional Slaughter

2010-08-15T12:31:00.001-04:00

When we think of spiritual abuse, we normally think of religious groups that are doctrinally out of order, who control their members in compounds a la' David Koresh or Jim Jones. Dangerous, spooky, lots of sex mixed with rituals and mind control. Those groups do exist, and are certainly abusive, but they are not where most spiritual abuse takes place.

Spiritual abuse goes on in mainstream denominations on a regular basis. In independent churches, I think the numbers are even higher. Churches that are doctrinally sound. Take their youth to Six Flags. Their Sr. Citizens eat once a week at a nearby cafeteria. They don't watch the comings and goings of members, they don't live in a commune. Yet within some of these churches, abuse is a constant and widespread cloak that covers members in stress, fear of embarrassment, and the all consuming need to please a pastor.

Church membership is seen as something special to be obtained, after promising to obey a long list of rules and duties to the group. Saying "NO" to parking lot duty or working in the nursery is seen as a sign of lack of commitment to the group and God, and as a personal failing. The "Cream of the Crop" in the congregation gets the pastor's love and attention, and other members learn quickly that pastoral approval is the ultimate pat on the head. "Spiritual failure" is marked by disobedience to the pastor, refusing to take part in activities or programs in the church, or not literally being there waiting for the church doors to be unlocked each and every service. If you love God, you will LOVE to be at every teen group spaghetti dinner, even if you just got out of the hospital a couple of days before. To not be in attendance is to not be committed, and not completely love Jesus. "Commitment" is the word that drives pride or shame into the hearts of church members.

Obedience to a pastor, backing the pastor up on his or her ideas for the church is paramount to gaining pastoral approval. Voting for something that will cripple the church financially is done because it is what the pastor wants. Common sense and financially sound principles go out the window. The pastor wants to build a new "family life center" when the church can barely make payments on the property it now owns is approved, to show trust in the pastor, who claims to have gotten the idea from God. Putting the entire group at peril to get a pat on the head from the pastor is justified as "trusting him who God has put in authority over us". Pastoral authority is preached and performed. Fear of disagreeing with or disobeying those who claim to have a special calling or anointing permeates the group.

When someone comes out of the fog of this type of abuse, they feel guilty or ashamed. Spiritual failure. Some churches even practice shunning. Lifelong relationships from within the church don't survive. If you choose to leave our church, you no longer exist. You refused to submit to pastoral authority.

Let's remember that abuse of congregations is not only a fact in groups labeled cults or sects. Spiritual abuse is alive and well in "normal" churches across the United States. Resistance is the key to recovery.

Multicultural Macon

2010-08-01T11:21:00.002-04:00

I am writing this blog at Panera in Macon, Georgia. I am watching a bunch of kids...happy, excited, and fidgety. They are part of a tennis team that is playing in a tournament here in Macon, and are hyped up. Normal kids on a road trip, having a great time, and eating a rather unhealthy breakfast. Their coach and parental chaperones seem happy, too. The whole group is having a good time.

What makes this group of kids different than most groups of kids I see in Macon is the erasure of a color line. That table of kids is made up of every shade of color possible, kids from European, Asian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, and African backgrounds. See, in Macon, you may see a group of white kids, or a group of black kids, or a group of black and white kids, but rarely do you see such a representation of ethnicity at a table. In Macon, ethnic groups outside of the black/white spectrum see to have a world of their own.

I suppose the fact that most Asian and Hispanic people in my area work long, hard hours, and are rarely seen at community events has a lot to do with it. Poverty among our Hispanic residents plays a factor too. Living in residential motels or scary housing complexes normally keeps the money away from you that would allow your kids to play organized sports.

I do see Asian kids playing in school orchestras, but not very often in sporting events. Of course, I am not everywhere at every event, so my view could be somewhat skewed. Yet, sitting here watching a bunch of goofy kids that seem to have no racial differences is refreshing. I listen to them chatter, and there is no difference in their speech patterns, no accent differences. No "hood" talk, no typical Southern drawls, no incorrect English. These kids are obviously not from the South, and are not from poverty stricken families.

They just left. Now Panera is calmer, and feels like the life was sucked out of the exit door. The America those kids will grow up in is so vastly different than my America. I feel a little sad for me, but happy and optimistic for them. I want to see Macon become like that tennis team. Sadly, in Macon, everything is still for the most part, black and white.

NOTE: After that team left, another team came in. They were a team fromMacon, according to their tshirts. This team was all white.

View from the curb

2010-07-20T20:20:00.000-04:00

I have several friends who have given up on church, and a few couple have given up on Christianity altogether. The illusion of happiness, family, joy and comraderie a lot of churches perpetuate came crashing down on the heads and hearts of some . The bitter disappointment of watching people mistreated in the name of Christianity or purity of the church claimed them. Others were kicked to the curb. Their sins were not as nice or acceptable as the sins of others.

One friend is still a devout believer, but has not stepped inside a church in years. False acusations and the feeling of being used until burned out, then dropped left him high and dry in a spiritual wasteland for a while, but he was deterined to not give up on God. He still can not think of church without panic attacks.

So many churches tend to pick and choose, use and lose, thrill and kill people. Honestly, I still have not recovered from all I went through, but I am doing better than some are. I wish there were a community for ex church members who have been beaten up. I think the doors could not hold the crowd.

I am writing a paper for my Multicultural America class on my familie's religous history. Half the paper so far has been my history. Dredging up bad memories.

Reading suggestions

2010-07-13T23:43:00.000-04:00

I get asked once in a while "How do you stand to read all of those boring history books?"
Well I really like history, so for me few of them are boring. I don't recommend many of them to the person with a casual interest in history. The ones I do recommend come from the Bedford/St. Martins press, as they have a large number of short, concise and well written books on a variety of historical and sociological topics. I just got one on the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire, a subject I have been interested in since my teenage years. My friends laugh at me, because tragic events in history make me cry, and when I hear the slogan "look for the Union label" being sung in a commercial, I tear up. Which leaves anyone unfamiliar with the fire with the impression I am a nut.

My point is, if you want to read up on some historical topics, want cheap books that are not boring, I recommend the series. If you scroll down the the bottom of this blog, you will see my "bookshelf", and some of those books are listed.

What books have had a great impact on my life? Here they are:
When Bad Christian Happen to Good People
Random Designer(Colling) Dr. Colling went through misery with his denomination for writing this.
Blue Like Jazz(Miller)
The Bible
The Civil War (Bruce Catton) Catton has fallen out of favor with some history professors, but I still use him when needed as a historiography source. Good, solid Civil War information.
All Quiet on the Western Front (Remarque)
Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis)

What books do I read over and over again?
The Civil War
Dracula
Island of the Blue Dolphins
The Last Convertable
The Bible
Mere Christianity

Let me also mention books I have tried to like, but just don't:
The Count of Monte Cristo
The House of the Seven Gables
Moby Dick
The Last of the Mohicans

Answering Questions

2010-07-13T00:19:00.000-04:00

Occasionally my readers ask me some follow up questions about my blog posts, or just a question or two in general. I decided to answer a few, so here goes.

Where do you or have you attended college?
As a young person, I attended Trevecca Nazarene University for three years, but ran out of money. My family had four kids, and was under a financial strain. The small scholarships I had did not cover the private college costs. I was a journalism /speech major, with a history minor. I took the required lower level theology courses, and a couple as electives.
Ten years ago I decided to try to finish school, turning my minor of history into a major. I took a couple of classes at Macon State, which did not have a four year history program at the time, and then transferred to Georgia College and State University, home of the worst parking situation on Earth, but a very good history program. I could only take classes at night, as I worked in the day, and the school is very "traditional" student oriented, so flexible schedules for the full time worker just was not to be found. Once again, money and car repairs stood in the way.

Last August, I lost my job as the financial system began to collapse, and I searched long and hard for another job. One day while heading out to pay my electric bill, I thought I may as well ride out to MSC and see what I may be able to get as far as financial aid, etc. They now offer a BA in History. I then went to the unemployment office to see what was up, and here I am in school full time. I did what I had avoided doing before, take out student loans, which I use to live on and cover books. My sister and I live together, so that helps a lot too. I am also getting the teaching certification, so if they ever stop laying off teachers, I have a shot at a job. I really want to go on for advanced degrees, but at my age and financial situation, I doubt that will happen.

So how can you call yourself a Christian if you believe parts of the Bible are allegorical?
Um..because belief in Christ is the requirement, not belief in inerrancy of scripture.

Why do you hate the United States?
I don't. I love my country. I don't think any relationship is honest if we refuse to hear or discuss the bad stuff, or refuse to see why the bad stuff happened, as well as the good. That works for history, friendship, marriage, and customer-business relationships. Candy coating some of the horror that has happened in our history is dishonest.

Are you a vegetarian?
No. I suppose once someone is labeled a liberal, the vegetarian label comes next, huh? By the way, I consider myself a moderate.

You seem to be a bad speller.
Actually, I am a good speller, but a bad typist.

I am tired of "Love the sinner, hate the sin"

2010-07-06T16:32:00.001-04:00

Why? Sounds good. treat people well, but don't condone their sins. Problem is, we tend to concentrate on things scripture never says are sins, and things that are vague, gray areas. I never put much thought into it, until fellow believers began giving me that treatment. My sin? I was asked by a pastor to leave the church (I was labeled a trouble maker, I believe in theistic evolution, not inerrant creation, etc.

So when I run into certain people from that church, I am treated like Muslim at a tent revival. I get "WITNESSED" to. As though I am a non believer. If I am wrong about evolution, I suspect when I arrive in heaven, Jesus may say "hey, you were really offbase about creation. let's chat about it over dinner soon" I really don't think "depart from me, I knew ye not" will be the answer.

Now, the Old Testament tells us to stone witches, do not eat pork or shellfish , and men are to be circumsized. I don't see anyone enforcing those rules, or Bonefish Grill would be empty on Sunday evenings. We tend to pick and choose. We choose what sinners to love, and what sins to hate, and mix the two up quite a bit. Perhaps it makes us feel more Holy if we have others to look down on. Easier to condemn actions we hate, instead of the ones we partake of.
I want to have a t shirt printed, with the slogan"STOP WITNESSING TO ME, I AM A BELIEVER"
I doubt it would get the law-monkeys off my back, however.

Neo-Confederate Homeschoolers??

2010-07-06T10:23:00.001-04:00

I was researching the shaky story of Jim Limber Davis. This is a story frequently told by neo-confederates, extreme conservatives (I really think it is insulting to conservatives to group these folks with them) and from what I have seen on the internet, a group that has to have sheets laundered after marches. While doing this, I found lesson plans that told the untrue yet popular story of Jim Limber Davis's life, how he was a slave child being beaten by a black man, how Mrs. Jefferson Davis rescued him, and she and her husband adopeted him. He was supposedly ripped from their arms by Union forces, never to be seen or heard from again.

My research has shown that he was with the Davis' and taken by a Union officer names Sexon, sent North for education, and of course, freed from the damnable institution of slavery Davis presided over. My point being that kindness does not excuse keeping people enslaved, not lessen the horror of it. Free and educated in the North was a better deal than kind treatment until the age ot 12, when he would have been put to work in the slave world, and kept at an arm's distance.

One site I ran across had lesson plans showing the travels of Jim, and told the tragic story of his being ripped away from his "adoptive parents" (Davis never adopted him). Since then, I have found some sites that back up homeschooling by neo-confederates. Here are the titles of two books being used as curriculum:
The South Was Right
The Five Thousand Year Leap (also a Glen Beck fav, from what I have heard)
I hope my homeschooling friends will keep an eye out in their homeschooling associations for any teachings in this vein. Bad history is one thing, dangerous history is another.
I am not posting links to these sites. If you want to find them, google pops them up, or sent me a message.

The Lost Cause

2010-07-02T11:28:00.001-04:00

So much controversy about what the American Civil War was about, and there should not be ANY.
Neo-Confederates would have you believe the "Gone With The Wind" version. Great movie, but very bad history. Moonlight and magnolias, gallant knights defending their home land from invaders, etc. just is not true. The Civil War was about slavery. Humans were held in brutal bondage, sold away from family, beaten and at times killed. If you have any doubts, read this quote from the South Carolina convention, by Robert Rhett:

"Citizens of the slaveholding States of the United States, circumstances beyond our control have placed us in the van of the great controversy between the Northern and Southern States. We would have preferred that other States should have assumed the position we now occupy. Independent ourselves, we disclaim any design or desire to lead the councils of the other Southern States. Providence has cast our lot together, by extending over us an identity of pursuits, interests, and institutions.

South Carolina desires no destiny separated from yours. To be one of a great slaveholding confederacy, stretching its arms over a territory larger than any Power in Europe possesses -- with population four times greater than that of the whole United States when they achieved their independence of the British Empire -- with productions which make our existence more important to the world than that of any other people inhabiting it -- with common institutions to defend, and common dangers to encounter -- we ask your sympathy and confederation.

Self-complacency is a great element of happiness, with nations as with individuals. We are satisfied with ours. If they prefer a system of industry in which capital and labor are in perpetual conflict -- and chronic starvation keeps down the natural increase of population -- and a man is worked out in eight years -- and the law ordains that children shall be worked only ten hours a day -- and the sabre and bayonet are the instruments of order -- be it so. It is their affair, not ours. We prefer, however, our system of industry, by which labor and capital are identified in interest, and capital, therefore, protects labor; by which our population doubles every twenty years; by which starvation is unknown, and abundance crowns the land; by which order is preserved by unpaid police, and the most fertile regions of the world where the Caucasian cannot labor are brought into usefulness by the labor of the African, and the whole world is blessed by our own productions.

All we demand of other peoples is to be let alone to work out our own high destinies. United together, and we must be the most independent, as we are the most important among the nations of the world. United together, and we require no other instrument to conquer peace than our beneficent productions. United together, and we must be a great, free and prosperous people, whose renown must spread throughout the civilized world, and pass down, we trust, to the remotest ages. We ask you to join us in forming a confederacy of Slaveholding States."

I am sorry, too

2010-07-01T10:16:00.004-04:00

THIS BLOG says what I want to say much more adequately that I am able.
The church has interacted with gays in a couple of ways: ignore that they exist, or condemn them and deny them entrance into church services. Of course, if we have family members or dear friends who leap out of the closet, we may make exuses for them...but the rest are headed to hell, and that is about as far as we are willing to dialogue about it. We abhor Westboro Baptist Church, and their diatribe, but our unwillingness to discuss gays who also identify with Christianity gives a sort of silent approval of Westboro.

So where do we go from here? Discuss why we don't throw out adulterers, drunks, gossips, or false teachers from the church, but rumors of a gay person in the congregation send us all in a flurry of panic.

Stop seeing gays as a political group we disagree with, and see them as real, live, human beings. We are all on the big boat called planet Earth, and we must see people as...people. Dehumanizing gays is just as wrong as dehumanizing any other group of people.

I really think we need to say we are sorry. The treatment given by the church has been hurtful, and hateful. The opposite of what Christ taught. Let's work toward reconcilliation.

Dangers in extremism

2010-07-01T01:25:00.000-04:00

If you are not convinced that patriarchy in it's latest incarnation in the church is dangerous, READ THIS.
Extremism in any form eventually robs people of faith. The danger is as great as any other within Christianity. Taking Bibilical texts out of context, attempting to adapt to Middle Eastern Jewish culure of two or three thousand years ago, and demanding that others do the same destroys lives.

The Times They are A Changing..thankfully

2010-06-30T23:27:00.000-04:00

The University of Mississippi is changing their mascot. Colonel Reb is being replaced. The effigy of a stereotypical plantation owner, the "Rebel" mascot, is leaving, but not without controversy. I was informed I was "ignorant" in a Facebook discussion today because I see the mascot as a symbol of Racism. The reason why: Colonel Reb is actually not a white caricature, but in fact symbolic of a beloved black man who sold peanuts in the stands at football games (at a time when blacks were not admitted into the school, or the games, for that matter).

Really? Seriously? This is not representative of the Confederacy? Not even when "Dixie" is played at each game? Deny the offensiveness of the image if you like, but when the State represented by this school is remembered not for the present, but for past events such as slavery, the murders of James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwerner, and, oh yes! The entry of James Meridith, the first black student at the school who had to be escorted by Federal law officials, and whose attendance there caused unrest to the point of rioting and two deaths, well, you are just ignorant.

It is time for the University of Mississippi to move forward. Changing their mascot will be a huge step in the right direction...into the present and out of the past.

A bit of pondering

2010-06-19T10:08:00.000-04:00

I have read two history books lately that have posed a question in my mind. "Myne Own Ground" and "To Awaken My Afflicted Brethren" both are about individuals who are really blips on the radar screen of history. Not much is known about them as far as personalities and such go. Yet, both books began to do such that by telling about life in those areas during those time periods. When the book is read, you come away from it feeling like you know what these people are like, yet it is impossible. I am not a fan of that style of historical research. Reminds me of all those "pictures" of Jesus Christ.....based on very little if anything. If no information is available concerning what temperaments or personalities people had, then skip it and just show us the research dealing with what they did. Sure, you can include what life was like at that time, but don't attempt to sketch a person you have no descriptions of.

On a totally different note, for those of us who are Christians, but who believe evolution was the way God created Earth, and that much of Genesis is a simplistic explanation is the form of ancient story telling, the attacks keep coming. Some of us got a dose of it in a class last week. The last time I checked, believing in a literal translation of Genesis was not on the checklist of what incorporates salvation by faith. Unless, of course, salvation is by faith in the Bible and not in Christ. A couple of books I have mentioned before in this blog that explains things well are "Random Designer" by Richard Colling, and "Coming To Peace With Science" by Falk. Colling and Falk are both professors of biology, and Dr. Colling was head of the Dept. of Biology at Olivet Nazarene University before retiring. As you may know, both of these men of faith and science had their heads on the platter as their books were published. Dr. Colling was no longer allowed to teach basic biology courses due to his stance. The battle for academic freedom still rages on at Nazarene Universities, as the fundamentalists make great inroads into a non fundamentalist denomination.
None of this is new stuff. I was a student at a Nazarene University almost 30 years ago, and theistic evolution, inspiration not inerrant interpretations of scripture, etc. were taught there at that time. Sadly, the denominational politicians are attempting to take charge of academia.

Who is God?

2010-06-01T13:27:00.003-04:00

C.S. Lewis said that we are limited by the images of God we stamp in our minds. I agree. If God is in your mind a raging, angry and vindictive being you heard preached about when you were a kid, that may very well be the image of God you still have. Perhaps when you hear of God the father, you think of your own father. Was he cruel, or maybe a pushover? Maybe he was a no show at all of your important life events, or he skipped out altogether. That can influence the image of God you and I have. I have noticed that those who had wonderful, loving, and kind fathers seem to think of God in the same way.

We tend to see Jesus as a friend, a brother. Although many of us subscribe to the theology of the Trinity, we do pull apart the Father, Son, Holy Ghost and view them differently. Jesus is our pal that gets us off the hook with God. (lot of folks view it that way) Many people think the Holy Spirit is sort of a Mom, interceding on our behalf because we are afraid to approach God ourselves. Now, note that I am not saying that is the way we should view things, I am saying that many of us DO.

The reason why we do this is, in my opinion, because we are visual people, and we can't see the Trinity. So we superimpose images that fit best based on our perceptions. Trouble is, our perceptions are not alway correct, and the images we have don't always match very well. So we have distorted images of God. Add into the mix the fact that God in the Old Testament seems very different from God in the New Testament of the Bible. No wonder so many people just try not to think about it at all, and others leave the faith altogether in frustration. You see, we HEAR about the images of God that pastors have superimposed on God, too.

While we try to figure out what we have gotten right and wrong concerning our concepts of God, we need to be more patient with each other, and realize that our concepts of God and His nature will never match each others, or the real thing. We see through a glass darkly.

First Church of the Romantic Notions

2010-06-01T10:58:00.005-04:00

A couple of years ago I blogged about the growing movement in the church world to think of Jesus in a romantic way. "Jesus is my boyfriend" is more than just a t-shirt slogan for many single women within American Christianity. A way to make women who are single without prospects feel a part of a religion that has become more about families and marriage than about the tenets of the faith. Am I the only one who thinks that portraying Jesus as a lover is creepy? That is why I don't subscribe to the theological notion that Song of Solomon is about Christ and the church. The savior of the world, son of the Most High Living God made out to be some sort of Rudolph Valentino crossing the desert sands on a romantic flight to the bedside of the church (and single women in particular) is not one I subscribe to, and it causes harm in several ways:

There are women who have bought into the belief that their lives are worthless and out of sync with the will of God if they do not marry and produce children. Unless, of course, God has "sealed their wombs", in which case they are either being punished for something, or God had not blessed them with gobs of money to spend on fertility treatments, to unseal their wombs. Which brings up the question of why so many think birth control is evil, but artificial impregnation is just fine. I think it is a lot like abortion and the death penalty. I can't see being in favor of one and not the other. Notice that it is always the woman's fault in the Bible. The Bible makes no mention of men being punished, low sperm counts are not mentioned. Maybe because in Middle Eastern culture of that time period, and woman's only worth was measured by how many male offspring she produced. Why does the church at times still judge a woman by that ancient standard? We don't need to judge a person's reproductive choices or abilities as a spiritual thing. The fact is people have health related issues, and infertility is one of them. It is a physical thing.

People, including Christians, are not married for a variety of reasons. Some want to be married, but have no one willing to marry them. Even Christians tend to be looks oriented, and unattractive people don't always find mates. Some people know they are not suited for marriage due to personality, temperament, or lack of sex drive. I think it is sad that most of people in those three categories do marry, with disatrous results. Regardless of reasons why, being single in churches in America can be a very isolating, lonely experience. All the more reason to see Christ as a brother, not as a boyfriend.

At one time the Ransomed Heart Ministries website had a discussion forum, and it was entertaining to watch some of the conversations that came up there. One person who posted there painted pictures of Jesus and herself scantily clad lying in bed together, Jesus and herself in coitus positions on a bed, and one with her kissing Jesus on his nipples. The administrator removed the pictures. Even on a website that is all about Christianity -as-a romance, it was too much.

Where did this woman get the idea that Jesus is her boyfriend? Church of course. When she expressed her longing for a mate and lack of having one, her pastor and his wife told her to let Jesus be her boyfriend, let Him comfort her. Words can be powerful, and for someone who had lead a life of promiscuity and abuse as this woman had, the words "comfort" and "boyfriend" meant something that was probably very different from what her pastor and his wife meant. Her obsession with the nightly visits of Jesus were recorded in her posts on a website, and there were a few women who felt like she did.

The whole situation sends out a warning to the church: Look carefully at what you teach, and the words you use to teach it. Trying to come up with answers to the loneliness some experience can cause more damage if not done correctly. Be cautious in how you paint a picture of what life with Christ is like. Treating singles like others in the church by inviting them out to eat or over for board games like you do couples can help a lot with the feelings of isolation that many unmarried people have within the church. It is not the place of the church to conger up fantasy romance.

Is the church about marriage and family? How many childless couples sit in church each Sunday and have daggers dug into their hearts because most of the sermons are not about Jesus, but about child rearing? How many are made to feel as though they are being punished? How many couples that have chosen to remain childless because they simply don't want kids are made to feel subhuman in the church? The single people who have chosen to remain that way (as scripture encourages, by the way) are treated as freaks, and those that want to marry but for whatever reasons have not are encouraged to date Jesus. Oh, and if you are divorced, the only way to get forgiveness from God is to remarry as quickly as possible! Creepy stuff, my friends.

Preachers and Pastors need to realize that not all of their congregations are Ozzie & Harriet and the boys. Our dwindling numbers and lack of theological understanding reflect it.

The Gulf

2010-05-26T14:09:00.000-04:00

Oil continues to pour into the Gulf of Mexico. Wildlife and land are now being coated with the substance, and it will be years if not decades before the fishing, shrimping, and oyster industry will recover. Endangered species of waterfowl are in danger. People's lives are destroyed. The situation is dire, and the stakes are huge.

Now, have you heard a sermon addressing the situation? Have you heard a call to prayer, or a call to action? A call to be the caretakers of the Earth we humans were given dominion over? I haven't. I doubt that I will. If it does not effect the business we call "THE CHURCH", many just don't care. Yet, when oil prices skyrocket, the price of seafood triples, we will hear plenty about it. I get very frustrated when the church only feels the need to weigh in on events when it effects the pocketbook.

Men

2010-05-13T14:46:00.004-04:00

I have a young friend who is terrible at athletics. In fact, he has no interest in sports at all. He never served in the military, and is very talented artistically and musically. He is a Christian, and has a great relationship with his wife, based on equality. One of the best people you would ever want to meet.

His pastor, however, thinks there is much room for improvement. In fact, he went so far as to tell my young friend that unless he begins to "order" his relationship with his wife in a "Godly" manner, he is not fulfilling his Biblical role in the home. He told my friend he needs to "man up".

So what brought all this about? The church my friend attends (or, attended, as they left a couple of weeks ago) began to offer men's studies featuring books by John Eldridge of Ransomed Heart Ministries. The guy that thinks real men need to be like the characters in "Gladiator" and "Braveheart". This particular church has had women serving in leadership since it's inception. No more. Suddenly, women were no longer nominated or appointed to any positions in the church, other than children's workers. Women who taught adult classes were "retired". A woman with a doctoral degree in theology, who teaches at a seminary in that area, was removed and replaced with a mechanic! He also had a sermon stating that women who do not marry (like me) are in rebellion against the natural order of God, and are trying to usurp man's covering over women. Singleness is a sin. Wow.

Sadly, Eldridge's teachings are mild compared to the growing fundamentalist/patriarchal voices rising up in what was once egalitarian churches. My young friend is what I consider to be a "real" man. He does not have to subjugate women or play paintball war in order to know that he is a man. He helps change diapers, clean house, and shares the responsibilities of the home with his wife. That is real manhood. Sadly, his now former pastor and church just don't care.

Summer of the Books

2010-05-10T14:32:00.003-04:00

I love to read. Good thing, as I picked up my textbooks for my three summer classses. They are:
A Student's guide to History
The Immigrant Experience
Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
To Awaken My Afflicted Bretheren
Frederick Douglass' Civil War
A Different Mirror
Sojourner Truth
The Black Hearts of Men
The White Man's Burden
Race and Revolution
Myne Owne Ground
Time On The Cross
Religion and the Creation of Race and Ethnicity
Slavery's Constitution: from Revolution to Ratification

I suppose those books I ordered on American Utopian Societies of the 18th and 19th centuries I planned to read just for fun will have to wait.......

Protecting Myth

2010-05-03T22:30:00.002-04:00

Most of us get comfort from hearing familiar stories that bring back memories from childhood, or some important period of our lives. We know that stories such as Goldilocks and The Three Bears, Pinocchio, and The Billy goat Gruff are fiction. Yet telling the stories of our childhood to children now is soothing not only to them, but to we adults who are stressed and strained by the daily pull on our lives.

Other stories bring comfort as well. Oft repeated family stories that tell us about our ancestry, and our forefathers adventures make us laugh, cry, or shake our heads in wonder. How Great Uncle Tom rasped for the rest of his life from the mustard gas of World War One. How great-Grandpa came to town in a wagon, and stayed in this town because the wagon broke down, and the town looked as nice as where he was heading. The elderly aunt that would not let her Father slaughter a pig she had made a pet of. How an ancestor walked from Virginia to Georgia after the Civil War ended. We don't know the entire story, just bits and pieces that give us a glimpse of the past.

I happen to have in my possession a wooden seal from the State of Georgia that was attached to a land ownership document that one of my ancestors had aquired in the land lotteries. What I did not know until recently was that the land given to white settlers in the lottery system was taken from Native Americans, or bought at a very unfair price. I knew part of the story, but not the entire story. Now I have a better glimpse of that time period.

As Americans, we have familiar stories that give us a sense of comfort and pride in our country. Most of us don't have the broader picture of all that happened in the formative years of the United States. Certain parts of our nation's history have been capsuled and given to us to digest as part of our national pride, while uglier parts have been hidden or glossed over. We want fifth graders to know about Thomas Jefferson, but certainly not Sally Hemings. We want our kids to know who the signers of the Declaration of Independence were, but not how many of them were slave owners. We certainly don't want them to know that one draft of the declaration had a paragraph calling for slavery to end, but it was cut out. We want to hear about Benjamen Franklin the inventor, but not Franklin the man who slept with numerous women while in France.

We want to uphold the version of history that has been taught to children. The sanitized version that either ignores or denies or justifies the seedier parts of American History. The treatment of Native Americans. People like Ellen Craft. The Trail of Tears. Columbus and Desoto were great explorers. Not the same Columbus and DeSoto that made life a living hell for some aboriginal people in the Americas.

That is what makes the Texas school book situation so sad and frightening. People want to uphold myth as fact, and half truth as whole truth. So the sanitation department is alive and well acting as the History Department. Sadly, what Texas does effects all states. Texas does not allow individual school boards to select text books. What they order is for the entire state. HUGE business for text book companies. The amount of money Texas invests in books can't be touched by other states, much less individual school districts. So text books are printed to reflect what Texas wants. For those of us that never went to school in Texas, think for a moment: What state did you learn the most about while a kid? Your own state, or Texas? Hmmm.

So Texas decides to order books that uphold myth. Those books , due to being bought in such large numbers, can cause the publishers to offer them to other districts at lower prices, since printing runs will be large anyhow. The myth and half truths of history float on in other states, unless teachers use additional materials.

Myth is taught as truth, and we all lose in the long run. Comfort is given from the old familiar partial stories of our nation's history, and the whole truth is once again buried. What goes on in Texas does not stay in Texas. We all lose.

Arizona : Checking for Illegal Aliens

2010-05-03T09:46:00.004-04:00

First of all I want to make it clear that I think profiling has it's place in criminal investigation. The fact is the majority of serial killers are white males who tortured animals, wet the bed, and started fires when they were children. We would be rather silly to insist law enforcement officers not begin an investigation into serial killings with this bit of evidence. Even though it is a form of racial profiling. However, not all serial killers fit this definition, so the police must broaden their scope at some point. Common sense. And we would never stand for all white men who look like former bed wetters being pulled over in traffic stops. Even if they are wearing dalmatian skin jackets.

What is not common sense is checking for illegal aliens (Mexican illegals, to be exact) by giving the police permission to pull people over on no other grounds than they "look" Latino. Native Americans, legal citizens of Hispanic descent, tourists from South America, or white folks with dark tans can be stopped. Mexicans with blond hair and lighter skin can breeze by. This law won't work. Particularly in a state with a HUGE population of United States citizens of Latino descent. Harassment of citizens and legal aliens will happen far more often than arrests of those here without permission. Illegal aliens from the Southern border are a huge problem in some areas, but playing needle in a haystack and harassing citizens and legal aliens at the same time just is not going to work.

Some of my ancestors were Irish. The United States had a flood of Irish immigrants, both legal and illegal coming into our ports in the 19th and early 20th centuries. Mine were illegal. Two brothers who stowed away on a ship. Here is the real kicker: Irish people were not considered to be "white". In those days in America, the Irish were considered to be another race, and were treated accordingly. Political wars raged around stopping immigration from Ireland. Irishmen were beaten, mistreated, and paid less than "white" people. As time went one, they faded into the fabric of America, and the ghost of that form of racism is largely forgotten. In fact, it seems silly to us today that whites could have treated whites that way...by declaring them to not be white. My point is that we tend to want to keep out people whose race we see as a threat at that particular point in time.

I have to pause and wonder what we would do if the majority of illegal aliens came from our other border: Canadians were sneaking in , perhaps to escape that horrible health care system and take advantage of our wonderful NO health care system. I think our perceptions and actions would be different. We just would not care.

Are illegals taking jobs away? Honestly, I see them doing jobs most white and black Americans would not do, and doing so for wages we would laugh at. (below minimum wage, and in cash) I worked for a major plumbing contractor in my state for years, and I know Mexicans tend to work the most dangerous jobs on construction sites, and many are killed every year at a much, much, higher percentage rate that black and whites working on those same job sites.
They are taken advantage of in pay and living conditions while here. I figure things must be terrible in Mexico for them to travel this far and live in these conditions.

So what are some common sense answers?
Make sure the problem we have with them is not their skin color or their language. Long before English became the most spoken language here, Native American dialects,followed by Spanish and French were the common means of communication. Most I have met are trying to learn English, that is just common sense. Anyone living in a foreign country would try to pick up the language. No one is trying to force us to learn Espanol, although as someone trying to do so, I can tell you it is well worth the effort.

How will loss of these people affect the job market? Can we get citizens to do the same jobs for the same pay? I doubt it. We are spoiled compared to those in developing nations.

How will these spot checks affect legal citizens who appear to be Latino? Are we (and I think we are) treating them as less than citizens?

Some things we can do that DO make sense:
If things are so bad in Mexico, can we do things to make it better? The Mexican government is notorious for being corrupt. The drug cartel there is huge and basically in control of some regions. The United States and other countries can enact trade treaties and embargoes that will require Mexico to get it's act together in order to receive further aid. I feel sure that if we stopped travel to the tourist destinations until things clean up, Mexico would begin to make changes to benefit it's people, not just line the pockets of officials. Insisting that Mexico take care of it's own is the first step. Backing it up with action is the second step.

Is the Community of Faith doing all we can to relieve conditions in Mexico? I don't mean spending money in the market while taking a break from the cruise ship. Are Christian denomination sending aid and medical missionaries to Mexico at the same rate we send them to Africa or South America? I worked in a missionary society for many years, and have seen mission aid to Mexico dwindle as the former Soviet Union fell apart, and Eastern Europe became a more popular area to send missionaries to. We had to rescue those folks from atheism. Keeping Mexicans from starvation and disease became less important. We need to send more workers to Mexico, not less or even the same amount. Full time medical missionaries, not just summer mission trip people.

Well, time to ramble back to my original point. Arizona's law is unconstitutional, inconvenient for it's citizens, and will probably be ineffective in the long run. Dump the law , Arizona, and rethink the way you "do" illegal immigration reform.

In a few weeks I will be attending a wedding. The groom's family is from Cuba and Costa Rica originally. All are American citizens. If the groom & family does not show, I will not think he got cold feet. I will think Georgia is following Arizona's example. Sad stuff indeed.

Reflections

2010-04-29T23:35:00.004-04:00

My first semester back in college is winding down, and what a ride it has been. I have learned a lot, and have had a lot to deal with outside of the classroom, as I have dealt with the unemployment office weekly, had a car wreck the second week of the semester, dealt with insurance companies, had other family related issues, etc. I am quite proud to have not failed every class. The stress has been unreal. The two highlights were my Society & Film class, and an American History class. Spanish has been a dismal experience, and although biology is interesting, I had a struggle with the terminology, and very, very tricky tests in both the lecture and lab sections. My middle aged brain has been stretched and pulled in all directions.

This summer I am taking nine hours of history classes. In summer, since the semesters are shorter, nine hours is considered a lot. At least history is my THING, so hopefully I will survive.
In the Fall I will take more Spanish, more biology, try to tackle a math course and pick up at least one history class.

The biggest lesson I have learned is to not allow personal situations or people to interfere with study. Hard to do, but I have let everyone know that from now on school is priority ONE outside of my spiritual life.

Just wanted to update you all on what is going on in my life. I have about a month until the next semester starts. Will try to get caught up on housework, yardwork, and other obligations.

Sermon Sickness

2010-04-16T09:35:00.002-04:00

Tuesday of this week I attended a revival service. During the service, the "evangelist" spent most of the sermon spouting personal opinion and beating up the congregation. I had not heard anything like that in so long, I was astounded. Even more astounded were the people nodding their heads in agreement, or saying :"Amen."

Some of the points he touched on:

Churches that don't have Sunday night services or Wednesday night services don't have time for God.

Churches that don't book him to preach for a full week of revival don't have time for God.

People are spending time on the internet, Facebook, etc. when they could be spending time with God.

The implication was very clear: If you say you love God but actually have a life outside of the church building, you don't really love Him.

The scripture he used to attempt to prop up his ill begotten theories came from 2nd Corinthians, and have nothing to do with what he was saying. This is a huge problem with both unscrupulous preachers and those with poor educational backgrounds. And congregations simply trust that these people are hearing from God and preaching what He has "put on their hearts".

I could tell right away by his preaching that he had not attended one of that denomination's Universities or seminary. In fact, he went to a small Bible school in North Carolina. And it showed.

One of our local churches that has a huge impact on our city is Christ Chapel. They have ministries for the deaf, for those recovering from addictions, and attending even one of their services would leave you with no other impression than they are hungry for God and have time for God. Yet, they don't have Sunday night services. The fact that they have two morning services and something going on other nights of the week does not count, I suppose. The fact that so much of their ministry is outside of the church walls and into the community means nothing, as they have been judged inadequate by their lack of a Sunday night service. Wow.

Legalism is alive in well in some churches today, and hiring "evangelists" who back up your self righteous attitudes and make you feel better about your church still goes on, even in this day. Knocking other churches that actually do something in their community may make you feel better about your own church, but the fact remains that judging the health of a church by when they schedule services is divisive, ignorant, and out of touch with reality.

Pondering death

2010-04-12T19:27:00.003-04:00

Friday I went to a funeral home to view the remains of a 45 year old woman. We were not close friends, but I had known her for many years. We had attended the same church at one time, and we were both non traditional students at Macon State College. I would normally chat with Allison after my history class. She would be sitting in the hallway knitting, waiting for the classroom across the hall from mine to clear out, and for her class to start. We would chat for a few seconds before I left to go home.

I have thought a lot about Allison over the past week, since she was hospitalized. Her husband is a nice guy, her daughter a sharp young woman and college student in Tennessee. Her mother buried another daughter a few months ago. Two daughters dead within a few months. Wow.

As I peered into the casket, I had to wonder about how short life can be. Babies die within a few days of birth, young mothers die of ovarian cancer, car wrecks take out high school kids, and those in poverty stricken neighborhoods die in drive by shootings and robberies. Even those who die in their eighties and nineties must look back and think life is too short.

As a Christian, I believe that this life is not the end, we pass into life on another plain of existence. As a human with all the frailties we humans have, I believe we need to live life with passion and purpose. I don't want to be on my death bed, or bleeding to death in an accident and think:"Wow, wish I had watched more television."

Live fully, Love fully, leave those who come behind us with some wisdom and fond memories.

Dreams that change Nations

2010-03-23T09:35:00.004-04:00

Her husband had been a congressman from Tennesee. She taught political science at Trevecca Nazarene University in the early 1980's. I was fortunate enough to take her for Issues in Democracy, a class I have never forgotten, and have called to mind many times through the years.

She had been in Washington and heard Martin Luther King, Jr. give the "Dream" speech. She described the day. It was very, very hot. People were fainting. the day wore on, and many people spoke for a long time before Dr. King got up to speak. As he spoke, she said she got chill bumps. Suddenly a chill swept through the overheated crowd. Everyone there knew this was no ordinary speech, or ordinary day. All there knew instantly that this was a day marked in history. Many years have gone by, and I can't recall the professors name, but what she said had burned in my mind and totally changed my way of thinking about race and culture. Suddenly, I cared.

Christian Nation?

2010-03-22T19:25:00.002-04:00

I got a message from someone asking that I join in "restoring the United States to the Christian nation it once was". the United States was never a Christian Nation, although most citizens throughout it's history aligned themselves with Christianity. Below are some quotes from primary sources that prove it. People, please understand that most of the founding fathers were deists, or substituted Free Masonry for religion. Why would they have based a nation on a religion they did not practice?

Here is a quote from our tenth president John Tyler, in a letter he wrote in 1843: "The United States have adventured upon a great and noble experiment, which is believed to have been hazarded in the absence of all previous precedent -- that of total separation of Church and State. No religious establishment by law exists among us. The conscience is left free from all restraint and each is permitted to worship his Maker after his own judgment. The offices of the Government are open alike to all. No tithes are levied to support an established Hierarchy, nor is the fallible judgment of man set up as the sure and infallible creed of faith. The Mohammedan, if he will to come among us would have the privilege guaranteed to him by the constitution to worship according to the Koran; and the East Indian might erect a shrine to Brahma, if it so pleased him. Such is the spirit of toleration inculcated by our political Institutions."

Here is a quote from the Treaty of Tripoli, signed by George Washington: "As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility [sic], of Mussulmen [Muslims]; and, as the said States never have entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."

Of course, there is the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof

George Washington wrote a letter to the Hebrew Congregation of Newport, Rhode Island in 1790: "The citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for having given to mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy -- a policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship. It is now no more that toleration is spoken of as if it were the indulgence of one class of people that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights, for, happily, the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support ... May the children of the stock of Abraham who dwell in this land continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other inhabitants -- while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree and there shall be none to make him afraid"

As a Christian, I am grateful to live in a country where I can practice my religion in freedom. I am glad I am not locked into a Christian bubble. There is no need to spread the falsehood that our nation is based on any religion. The United States is built upon the political concepts that somehow fuse together a republic and a democracy. We can all be grateful for that.

Christianity in Action?

2010-03-19T22:05:00.005-04:00

I am disturbed that so many Christians are active in this type of thing. Protesting the government is our right. Our obedience to the teachings of Christ overrule that right, however.

Martha Ballard

2010-03-17T21:29:00.005-04:00

I am currently reading "A Midwifes Tale: The Life of Martha Ballard" for an American history class I am taking. I am amazed at how busy a woman in the 1700's could be. Martha attended births, made potions and salves, nursed the sick, took care of husband, kids and home. She would have husbands knocking on her door at all hours to take her to their wives in labor. She doctored sore throats, ear aches, toothaches, fevers and rashes. She also served as an undertaker, washing and laying out the dead.

One of the duties of a midwife was to ask any unwed woman in labor who the father of her child was. The man named by the mother would have to support the child. This is long before DNA, blood, or other tests. A dishonest woman could call out whatever name she desired. Martha Ballard had the unpleasant duty of recording the name of one of her sons in such a situation. He did what most men did: marry the mother of the child. Martha was well respected as a member of her community, but was not given the status a male doctor had, although she was many times the first of the scene, and also the only medical help to arrive.

I was surprised at the number of illegitimate births attended by Martha Ballard. Surely she did not attend them all. Other midwives had to have had a share of the birthings. I suppose we think that people in past centuries were more chaste. More virtuous. My opinion is that people were more likely to marry when pregnant, unlike today. Other than the recordings of midwives, however, we don't see much evidence of it.

Somehow we have been given a rather sanitized view of American History. I encourage anyone who has been taught the ideology that the founding fathers were devout Christians, or that people obeyed scripture in their daily lives to dig in and study primary sources. When we know our past, we can better address the future.

Church and Culture

2010-03-14T01:21:00.003-05:00

I love the mosaic of cultural differences in the United States. The differences are like rare spices flavoring the meal of life. Okay, my attempt and prose is a little corny. You know what I mean, however. Diversity makes life interesting. Ten years or so ago I took an Introduction to Anthropology course. Anthropology is the study of people and their culture. Culture (if memory serves me right) consists of language, tradition, religion, food, and shared history. We all have a culture we are a part of, or at least were a part of at one time. Mine is the deep South of the United States. I love it! Boiled peanuts, iced tea so sweet you can pour it over waffles, Southern Drawls, graveyards with a story behind every tomb, and most everybody believes in Jesus. They may not follow His teachings, or worship Him with others, but you are hard pressed to find many who will shame their Mama by admitting they are not a Christian of some sort.

I live in a town that has some racially mixed churches, but Sundays tend to be segregated by and large. Why whites and blacks in the South get upset when they feel things are changing in the church? Changes in music, translations of the Bible read from the pulpit, and casual dress cause a disturbance. There are still churches here where a man would not walk in without a coat and tie on. African American churches still flow with ladies in large lovely hats, matching shoes, handbags, and yes, gloves! (white ladies gave up the glove and hat wearing on Sundays when I was a child.) I think so many churches are still racially divided due to cultural differences.

Each church has it's own micro-culture. A history of pastors, families who have attended there for generations. Many white churches are filled with Southern Gospel music. Black churches are filled with mass choir music. King James reigns in many houses of worship. Changes in music, dress, and scripture translations do more than make old folks uncomfortable...the changes threaten the micro-culture of that particular house of worship. The thing that binds a group of people together...that shared collective sense of community.

So why bother with change? Because the church is not about upholding the group culture. The church is about making disciples. Change in order to do that more effectively is necessary. Although we never want to bring about change that is harmful, or change just for the sake of change, the fact is we need fresh approaches to how we "do" church. We must ask questions of our churches.

Would someone not attend our church because of a perceived dress code? Are there people in our church who "look down" on those who are not "properly dressed"?

Are there people who do not speak middle English, and would understand scripture better in a modern translation? Do we in the church talk in a "Christian"dialect that unbelievers have a hard time understanding?

Do we sing the same type of music every week? Is the language used in the music something someone unfamiliar with the Bible, or "church speak" could understand?

While the church is not about making sinners feel comfortable in their sin, it is about helping people come to know Jesus. Let's do what we can to make that happen. Even if it means we feel our church culture stretching a bit.

Abusive Churches

2010-03-13T11:37:00.002-05:00

This link gives some primary ideas of what goes on in abusive churches. Churches that require you to dress a certain way to feel approval, or to feel ashamed for asking candid questions.

Abusive pastors and leaders want to control congregations lives, and their minds.

If you have ever been a victim of an abusive church, you need to check it out.

Elmer Gantry

2010-03-12T16:24:00.003-05:00

The film Elmer Gantry was based on a book by Sinclair Lewis, and concerns a con artist revival preacher, and his female counterpart. Although set in an earlier time period, it addresses the revivalism that was rampant in the 1950's when Pentecostalism under preachers such as Oral Roberts, and the Latter Rain movement - heresy were prevalent under preachers such as William Branham.

The movie is one I think every Christian should see. Particularly those in churches that still have series of revival services, and book preachers whom they know by word of mouth or recommendation only. Having been on a church board that brought in at least two revival speakers who later lost their license to preach within the Church of the Nazarene, I truly wish we had taken more time to investigate revivalists instead of taking the word of a pastor or district official. I have friends in other churches that wish they had taken more time in choosing someone to lead services.

We can not be too careful with the people we choose to lead spiritually, even if it is only for a few days or weeks. Questions we need to ask: Does this person have a criminal record? Do they have a record of mental illness? have they misappropriated funds donated to their ministry? Have they encouraged followers to invest in a scheme of some sort? (This would knock out several evangelists and pastors I know). In the 1990's, a huge ponzi scheme was perpetrated within several denominations, including the CON, but it never made in into Holiness Today Magazine.

At the same time, those in the ministry that help cover up for someone else, or house someone who could put those around them in danger need to be held accountable.

Wolves in sheep's clothing abound within the ministry. We must be wise as serpents.

History

2010-03-12T10:32:00.004-05:00

Since I am deeply interested in history, enough to pursue a career in the field, I have people ask me what I think it is important. Some come right out and say it is a waste of time, should be de-emphasized in schools, no one can get it right, blah, blah, blah. I would like to address these remarks.

Where you are in life, who you are, and where you are headed are all influenced by history.

How your ancestors lived and survived has brought you to the place you are at now. Your experiences as a child are largely due to your parents and grandparents, and decisions they made. Their lives and childhood experiences are due to their parents, etc. Maybe your grandmother moved to Mobile, Alabama during World War Two to get a job in a ship yard. She left the farm in Mississippi, and her life up to that point. While riding a train she met a young soldier. Love, marriage, and along comes your dad, who then grew up in Mobile. Turned of age just in time to get invited to Vietnam. Met a girl while in basic training in California. They married quickly, he was killed overseas, but not before your mom became pregnant. so, here you are in your 40's. You grew up in California, but visited your grandparents in Alabama during the summers. Your mom remarried, and you hated your stepdad. Made you want to get out of the house as soon as possible, so you made good grades, got a scholarship to college, met some one at dear old University of Idaho, and settled down.

Now what if World War Two had never happened? If Vietnam had not happened? If your dad had been sent to boot camp somewhere other than California? History effects each of us. We can learn from it, or ignore it and repeat it. Studying history opens our eyes to how the world has developed, how people have treated other people, and what others have been through.

I think it is important for Christians to have a good working knowledge of history because we tend to view events in the Bible incorrectly. We read translations with our 21st century minds, and apply our modern day concepts and assumptions onto scripture. If we have no understanding of what Jewish culture and tradition was like at that time, what life was like for believers under the Roman Empire, or how women and non Jews were viewed , we misinterpret the Bible, and set up ideologies that are incorrect, and down right dangerous.

If anything, our rise in interest in Middle Eastern Islam should give us a thirst for historical accuracy in our Biblical studies. Life in Biblical times was hard. We can't fathom the complexities of scripture without a knowledge of history. We will continue to hear sermons that totally twist the meaning of the Bible until we see the need for all pastors to have a good education in not only Greek and Hebrew, but history, anthropology, and sociology as well.

Crouching Churches, Hidden Denominations

2010-03-12T00:28:00.004-05:00

Most of us by now are aware of an increasingly common practice of removing denominational affiliation from the name of individual churches, and removing it from literature, websites, and signs. A few years ago while searching for a church to attend, I visited two such churches, and it was like pulling teeth to find out what they were theologically, or denominationally. For someone who is pretty much settled in theologically, it is frustrating. I don't want to attend a church that is the opposite of where I am in philosophy. That normally leads to dissension and misery, so if I know right off the bat, it is helpful in making decisions about where to attend.

Why are churches doing this? From what I have been able to discern, three main reasons:

The denomination has a bad reputation, and the church feels better off dropping the name.

The denomination has some odd or whacky doctrine the local church wants to de-emphasize.

The church does not want theology to stand in the way of unity in the body of believers.

All are valid reasons, but can be taken as being misleading. Denominations that have a reputation as being legalistic and judgmental don't attract large numbers of people, and removing the label would help attendance...until time comes to join the church and the core beliefs have to be attested to. A little late when that person who is Calvinist at heart realizes he or she is about to join a Wesleyan oriented fellowship.

The Southern Baptist churches are facing this particular name crisis, so is the Church of the Nazarene, Assemblies of God, Church of God Cleveland, and others. Some have gone so far as to require denominational affiliation to be on church signs, and church interpretations of scripture and theology to be taught by the pastor at least once a year in services.

The answer to how to deal with this may well be found in honest introspection. Why is our reputation in the mud? Have we tried to deal with it, or hide it from the press and the local churches? Is our stand on social issues outdated and irrelevant? Have we pursued vigorously criminal activity among the clergy? do we require such a burden to be carried by members, that people would not attend our churches knowingly?

While I certainly understand not labeling the church, and I do believe we need to look past many of the divisive issues within churches that keep good Christians from joining a church they would otherwise love to be a part of, those in denominational leadership must address the cause, not attempt to control the effect.

My personal opinion is that denominations are dying. Local independent churches, small groups that meet in coffee shops and parks, and house churches are on the rise. The wounds to the denominations are mostly self inflicted. The labels will continue to be pulled of the jars.

I am not ashamed, so don't guilt trip me

2010-03-11T23:11:00.002-05:00

"If you are not ashamed of being a Christian, send this email to everyone in your address book"

"If you are proud to be a Christian, post this on your Facebook Wall"

Whatever. Implying or outright stating that by not reposting some corny sentiment means I am ashamed of my faith is spiritual coercion. I don't buy into it. How about "Don't make me embarrassed to be a Christian by posting corny and arrogant statements that make non believers roll their eyes and give them yet another reason to think Christianity is ridiculous"?

I think some of these forwarded emails and Facebook statements are offensive both to deep thinking believers, and non believers as well. I grow weary of the "cheering on the football team" mentality we have developed within the micro-culture of the church. I am not proud of Christianity, but humbled to the core by what Christ did on the cross for me, and in spite of me. Pride is out the door.

Spiritual Boot Camp

2010-03-11T22:43:00.005-05:00

I have trust issue with God. I always have. Trusting that He will work things out is not something I readily accept and embrace. My journey through unemployment benefits, and my return to college full time at the age of 50 has been an exercise in trust. I have had no other choice. Things have continuously worked out, particularly when there was nothing I could do on my own.

Now I think that maybe that is the major lesson I was meant to learn. Trust God. I have had no problems getting unemployment. After applying for numerous jobs with no interviews stemming from them, I prayed about returning to school, something I have wanted to do for years since running out of funds while a student at Trevecca all those years ago. I have taken courses since then, at Macon State and Georgia College & state University, but as usual, finances got in the way. This time, it has not. I am taking 14 hours this first semester back. God worked it out. I got financial aid, a loan, and am over halfway through my first semester back.

I have had other issues in my life, including a car accident. Personal problems erupt once in a while. I have been pretty freaked out at times, yet prayers have been answered and friends have been supportive, and I have been able to keep chugging along.

Life's lessons, particularly the spiritual ones are not easily learned at times. Boot camp is needed. I am in the boot camp, but can see the results already. God is good.

Money

2010-03-11T17:41:00.003-05:00

Flipped on the tv a couple of weeks ago and turned into a religious broadcast station. I caught parts of two shows. One was a preacher trying to sell a special red anointing oil that when mixed with faith would cure blindness, deafness, backaches and AIDS. The oil also heals marriages, drug addiction, and mental problems. Comes in three size bottles at three different prices.

Next was a more well known televangelist doing what he does at any time I have tuned in: Demand money. As a proof of your faith, you need to send this man money. You don't even get any special red anointing oil!! NADA!! Step out on faith and God will bless you in direct proportion to how much you give.

We can get angry, or find it funny, but truth be told the same type of thing goes on in many "legit" churches every weekend. Give a certain amount to the building fund, and get a special coffee mug inscribed with the fact that you gave money. those not slurping from said mug during Sunday school evidentially did not give a chunk of money to the fund, and since they are sans mug, we all know it.

Normally we don't get a mug, but "approval" to run for church office, or sit on a committee if there is enough documented evidence you gave at least 10% of what the finance folks guestimate you make each week. Years ago a pastor approached me and told me since I no longer gave at least 10%, the nomination committee had decided my name could not run for a position in said church. I was a bit confused how he came to this conclusion, since I did indeed pay the base membership fee every week. During what became a rather heated discussion, he said that the amount I gave had dropped considerably from the past. Of course, the committee did not take into consideration that I had changed jobs, and was now making quite a bit less than before.

Same guy approached a couple about their lack of giving, and out of embarrassment they left the church. See, they had gone through a catastrophic financial situation, and wound up with no income for a while, and no checking account. They put cash in the offering plate. They were embarrassed about how little they had, and did not stuff it in an offering envelope. They figured it was between them and God. WRONG!!!! Everything goes through a committee first. Sort of like the Atlanta airport.

Pastors who keep their noses in the offering plate with a little help from their moneychangers really can do a lot of harm. Entry fees into service in the church are unscriptural. We have taken obscure scripture in Micah and have twisted it into a pretzel of legalism, and have caused a lot of hurt and embarrassment along the way. Stewardship goes beyond giving a set amount. Stewardship involves crystal clear accountability as to what the money is used for by the church. Stewardship means I need to pray before financially supporting a program or expenditure. Dumping money in the plate with no concept of how it is used is foolish these days, when more and more church personnel are being charged with fiduciary theft or fraud.

Right now I am unemployed, but am attending a church where I don't feel judged for the little I can put in the plate. That would not be the case in other churches. This is an area where judgement of others is encouraged. It should not be so.

What is the Church about?

2010-03-11T13:31:00.002-05:00

the above linked video says volumes about where we are, and where we need to be.

Slavery in the Americas

2010-03-11T10:43:00.005-05:00

When discussing slavery (a rarity, considering I live in the deep South, and on top of a Civil War battlefield) several comments always come up...a defense of the slavery that occurred here in the United States. Comments such as "most slaves were treated well" "The Bible never said slavery was wrong" and "that was a long time ago, put the past in the past".

I want to address those ideas. Sadly, "Moonlight and Magnolias" has been the type of revisionist history common here in the Southern United States since the end of the Civil War, and sadder still, it has been taught both in the classroom and through oral history. We Southern whites have romanticized and perfumed a period of time when people were ENSLAVED. Their children were ENSLAVED. Humans who happened to have black skin were BRED LIKE LIVESTOCK.

Lets look at what we know to be true, via reliable sources, first hand accounts, and historical documentation: ( if you want a list of sources, you can find many on jstor, or message me and I will email you links)

1. Slavery was not all that bad. WRONG. Slavery was at it's best brutal, at it's worst, horrific beyond description. Slaves were raped, beaten, sold and traded away from their families. The worst treatment was on modern day Haiti. Lifespan of a slave on a sugar plantation on one of the Islands was around ten years. So much money was made from sugar and rum production, it was cheaper to wear a slave out and buy another , than to provide rudimentary care for them. Rice plantations in South Carolina, Cotton plantations in Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi all literally worked slaves into their graves. Work in fields was from sun up until sundown, and at night during full moons. Pregnant women and children over 12 worked in the fields. It was illegal to teach a slave to read or write, although this law was broken quite a bit.

2. Slaves being treated like family members, or as children is for the most part a myth. Household slaves were victims of rape, and although not whipped as often as those who worked in fields, they were likely to be beaten, and worked day and night. Having a soft spot in your heart for the "Mammy" that raised you may have been a reality, but after children were grown, Mammy was just as likely to be sold or given as a gift to someone in need of nanny services.

3. "They" sold their own people into slavery. True, but slavery in Africa was temporary, and slaves could own property, marry, and could pay off their own ransom by earning money if their tribe could not do so. Slavery in Africa was not life threatening normally, as taking slaves from a rival tribe was a status symbol more than anything else. Slavery in the United States was permanent, and slaves could not own property, legally marry, and their children were also slaves. Even if the child's father was the master. The master owned and could sell his own children. Slavery in the United States was dangerous. living in hovels, poor nutrition, exhaustion and lack of sanitation made life a tenuous situation at best. Slaves were of one race. Whites found that enslaving other whites did not work well, as they could normally escape and blend into society elsewhere, and Native Americans Indians could do the same. Only blacks could not get away until slavery was outlawed in the North, but even then escaping slaves from the South were brought back by reward money or slave chasers hired by the owners. Slavery is always bad, but slavery in the United States was much worse than slavery in Africa.

4. The Bible endorses slavery. I see the Bible recording slavery, and laying out guidelines for treatment of slaves, including the "year of Jubilee" in the Old Testament. Paul sent a runaway slave back home to his master (both slave and master were believers, and I can't wrap my mind around that). Maybe it does endorse slavery just by the fact it approaches it as a part of life in the Middle East at that time, and does not outright condemn it. Maybe it lays the groundwork for treatment of slaves and later abolitionist movements. I am bothered by the lack of condemnation of humans owning humans in scripture. The teachings of Christ certainly seem to be against slavery and human brutality.

5. Leave the past in the past. Well, if we do that, we don't learn anything. The past can become the present all over again. Could slavery possibly come back in the United States? I think so, although not racial in nature. I think a very real possibility as the economy worses will be a type of indentured servant situation. Looking at history, that type of "white slavery" did not work too well the first time around. Another reason to study the past is to see why people are where they are right here, right now. Although black Americans are no longer physical slaves, the slave mentality exists. Whites who don't see blacks as being quite human. Blacks who have been subjected to dehumanization all of their lives don't see themselves as being quite human, either. The cycle of poverty, crime, and drug abuse in lower class black neighborhoods may stem from the sense of futility and frustration that has been with the descendants of slaves since they gained their physical freedom. The mental and emotional slavery still keeps people in chains.

I am not saying that all Southerners fought the Civil War to protect the institution of slavery. Most were poor whites who did not own slaves. I am not against Civil War re-enactments. They tend to show very accurate recreations of costume and dress from the period, as well as battle movements and life in camps. Except for the absence of slaves. The elephant in the re-enactment camp, so to speak. I doubt there has been much luck in recruiting black Americans to participate, however, except of course for the black troop regiments from the North. Pretending to be a slave even for the sake of history would be more than most blacks or whites would be comfortable with. No one wants to attend a re-enactment and munch on a corndog while watching a faux slave being faux whipped.

My point is this: Slavery is and was morally and ethically evil. Although we can not know how on Earth Christians and intelligent people could possibly defend slavery in the 17th and 18th centuries, many did. If we refuse to acknowledge that the institution was as horrible as it was, as long as we play down the brutality of slavery due to our discomfort that our ancestors, as well as spiritual and national leaders endorsed slavery, we can not move ahead. Sometimes good people do terrible things. Sometimes brilliant people endorse horrible things. Honest historical research brings those things to light. Let's stop hiding the light under a bushel of romantic notions.

I am back!

2010-03-11T10:00:00.003-05:00

After months of inactivity, I am back blogging. Just to catch you up:

During months of unemployment, I decided to go for broke: return to college, take out loans, and finish my old history degree. I may take education classes too, so I can teach high school. Right now I am a student with a full load at the age of 50. Oh, and during my blog absence, I turned 50. Yet another brick in the wall of time. I hope to find time to blog between writing papers and such, and have missed my blogging, but was honestly so zeroed out emotionally, I could not write.

One particular class I am taking has really woken me up to the treatment of Native Americans by white "explorers", and particularly things done to these people in the name of Christianity. So much of their history has been ignored, as thought they are a non-people without a rich culture and heritage of their own. Now, this is not revisionist history, or bleeding heart stuff, but documented fact. As a Christian, I am changing daily as I see the church as so many intelligent non believers see it: ignorant and uncaring about those outside of the mainstream. I am determined more than ever to not be that kind of Christian.

The question is "How do we get those in the church that only want things to continue as it has for the past 80 years or more to see that drastic changes in policy and attitude are needed"?

Please tag on any ideas you have.

The Joy Robbers

2009-09-16T22:21:00.003-04:00

I was in a Bible study tonight focusing on the first chapter of Philippians. Topic was joy. Something that seems to be missing from the lives of Christians, and from many church bodies.

Several things that cause rob us of our joy include: fear, illness, worrying about what others think, disobedience to God,lack of trust in God, and professional joy killers what seem to be in most churches.

Fear is a big one for me at the moment. Unemployment and concern over the future is a joy robber. Facing that tonight has brought me a bit of peace. Illness is another. I have not felt well this week, and that seems to bring me down in other areas.

Tonight I decided that I want to work hard at never being a joy killer in someone else's life. I want to find purpose in the events in my life, and with purpose comes joy. Like the old hymn says:

" Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey".

Have not blogged in a while.

2009-09-14T16:20:00.005-04:00

I have not blogged in a while, due to a very, very busy and stressful couple of months. Just to give you an overview:

I was laid off from my job, permanently. It came as a bit of a shock. I was not prepared, and there was not advance warning.

My vehicle died the day after I was let go. I had to have the clutch assembly replaced.

Almost a month now, and I have not been called for a single interview.

I am 49 years old. I am a chunky woman. How can I compete in the job market against the young and short skirted? If, in fact I am actually called to interview.

God has been faithful, however. Several major prayers have been answered. The man who repaired the clutch did so for a very, very low price. Two good friends bought the clutch and would not let me repay them. Another good friend insists on buying my dinner every couple of weeks. I was allowed to break up payments on a bill. I had not problems applying for unemployment. My former employers says I will get an excellent reference. All of this happened as a result of good friends praying for me. I have no doubt at all.

God is good all the time.

Another note: almost a year ago the pastor said that he felt there were people attending church at Christ Chapel because they like the music or preaching, and God may want them in another church where they can help and be involved. I decided to pray about that, and visit some smaller churches. I attended my old Nazarene church for a few weeks, and have enjoyed the time there with some old friends. Sunday I visited our local Wesleyan church, which has a new pastor, and was impressed to visit again. Please pray for me as I transition into a new church. Not sure what church it will be, but I believe I am at a point where I can get involved again instead of just sitting in a seat and listening. Been a while. I think I am ready.

Spreading the pain

2009-08-02T12:08:00.000-04:00

Christians (myself included) have been at times too quick to offer shallow and hurtful answers to the suffering of people. While those answers may be well-meaning, they are misguided and in most cases, just plain wrong. Theologically ignorant. They cause hurt, pain, and loss of faith. We have used to bible not as a living ongoing story of God working in our world, but as and open and shut law book.

One of the worst cases I remember involved a woman whose child died at age 8. Someone told her that "God took the child away". really? what an insensitive thing to say, and what a terrible thing to presume of God. Accidents happen, people cause deaths, as do animals, faulty equipment, and mistakes. God ripping children from their parent's arms is not a picture I think is accurate, and certainly not what grieving people need to hear.

Years ago I worked with a man who met with the parents of a little boy who had died from a bacterial infection. He , his pastor, and some other leaders in that church gathered around the parents to let them know that their child died from their lack of faith. What kind of people believe like that, and actually go to grieving parents and say that? God is not controlled by us or our actions.

Others include telling a cancer patient his illness was a result of sin in his life. Or telling the parents of a wayward teenager that their child's actions are due to poor parenting, and more punishment from God. We humans have a lot of nerve. We put the people involved, as well as God on trial for crimes against humanity.

We live in a world where laws of nature and physics have been set into motion. Where evil people live and prey on others. Where young people and some older ones do very stupid things with terrible results. Where sometimes, things just happen out of cause and effect. If I jump out of a window of a building ten stories tall, the result is not God killing me, but ME killing me. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. Until hitting concrete. If you are murdered by a serial killer, did God do that? Or did the killer do it? If someone runs a red light and hits your car, and you are injured or killed, it is not God that put you in the hospital. Whether through a mistake or bad brakes, or road rage, it was the fault of the other driver.

In this world, we have free will, and God has given humans a large amount of space and responsibility to move around in. His allows us to choose our actions and ethics. He does not command us like puppets on strings. He does not guide the knife in a murderer's hand. He allows us to choose.

Sick teachings and ignorant people do so much harm. Time for it to stop. God is at work in the good and the bad. He is a God who gives and at times takes away. That does not make Him the cause of our misery, hurt, and pain.

Pondering a few things

2009-06-18T17:48:00.001-04:00

Recently I chatted with someone about the large numbers of people dropping out of church in favor of home groups or coffee shop Bible studies, and the number of people who are leaving the churches of their childhood in favor of churches they feel are relevant to where they are in life. How the church in general needs to hear the wake up call that people want to do more than keep churches afloat that don't help them to grow spiritually.

I was a little shocked by the hostile response I received. Basically that people need to commit to a church and stick with it, whether they get anything out of it or not. Changing churches means the person has sin in their life, is running from conviction, and is looking for a church to tell them what they want to hear.

I have not heard that type of attitude in so long it threw me for a loop.

My opinion: You need to be involved in a fellowship of believers that encourages spiritual growth, helping others, and truly worships God enthusiastically. That won't happen if you are snoring on the pew, or your whole purpose is to keep the church above water, keep the bills paid and the grass cut. That will make you weary, dry, and discouraged. Changing churches may keep you from spiritual death. Our loyalty is to Christ, not a building.

At this point in time, I am in better shape spiritually than at any time in the past. I have gone through a dry, dry desert, and many of you have shared my burden. I look back now at how far I have been brought by God. Amazing. I am not running from sin or conviction. I am running towards the arms of God. They are wide open.

Valleys and Mountains

2009-06-07T21:11:00.003-04:00

I am in a valley right now. Not the deep, dark, almost-an-atheist kind of valley, but the dry desert kind. I read the Bible, it stares blankly back at me. Not the deep, in depth, living and active experience. The kind of valley where I am afraid at times to praise God, because I know Satan will dump a load of bricks on my head right after.

I have been a believer long enough to know that this will pass, and the climb up the mountain will happen. Patience and perseverance are the keys to hanging on. Still, I wonder why at my age these dry times happen. Are there lessons God is trying to teach me? Am I wrong about something spiritual, and He is bending me in the right direction? Hmmm. The only thing to do is hang on and reflect when it is over. Oh, and covet the prayers of friends and blog readers.

I am not a devotional writer

2009-06-03T18:13:00.002-04:00

I try at times. Write something inspiring, warm, fuzzy, and full of God's promises and blessings. I just don't have that skill. For me, blogging is a cathartic experience. I can blog about things that would cause mass hysteria if I brought it up in a Sunday School class. I blog the questions we don't dare ask in church. I know I sound critical and bitter. Yet when I blog, any bitterness and critical feelings wash out of me.

I am not a watcher on the wall, a heretic hunter, or a stalker of legalists. I am a human being, who happens to be a Christian, who writes about the things that bother, confuse, or disgust me in our church world. I love to read devotional blogs, but I am just not THAT blogger.

new discussion forum

2009-06-01T21:32:00.002-04:00

The Believer's Coffee Cafe has become crowded, and topics are hard to find.
we have decided to branch out and offer a discussion forum HERE
while maintaining our blogs, discussions, and personal pages at the old site.

Drop by and check out the new forums area.

I Know Whom I Have Believed

2009-05-31T11:15:00.002-04:00

"I know not why God's wondrous love to me He hath made known;
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love redeemed me for His own.
But I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able
to keep that which I've committed, unto Him against that day".-Whittle & McGranahan

Doesn't get much simpler than that. I don't know all of the ins and outs of grace, I can only accept them. Sometimes we take the simple and make it difficult. Grace is one of those things. We humans attempt to attach conditions to the unconditional. Try to make God's favor and love something to be earned through hard work in the church or personal piety. We are wrong to do so.

Once again....

2009-05-27T19:44:00.001-04:00

I want to remind my readers that I do not agree with every blog or site I have links to. I just find them interesting and informative. A few are the blogs of friends of mine. chill out

Revising history-don't do it

2009-05-23T11:36:00.004-04:00

People, if you are going to study history, please study using credible authors and sources. NOT Peter Marshall, a history revisionist who paints a very untrue version of United States history. He seems to be popular with home schoolers, and sadly they are getting a view of history that will not serve them well if and when they attend University level history classes.

Of course, he is not alone. At the far end of the revisionist spectrum, people such as those purporting the holocaust never happened continue their diatribe, and seem to be convincing younger people for whom World War Two is ancient history. These people need to talk to those who arrived at the concentration camps as members of the United States and British armies.

Years ago a Jewish history professor at Harvard wrote a book detailing how students arriving at Harvard had been taught in African Studies classes on a high school level that Aristotle, Plato, and other philosophers were actually from Africa, not Greece. They were black. Her book told of her attempt to demand academic honesty on the high school level, where so much revisionist history is taught. She was insulted both as a woman and as a Jew by her detractors. Wow. I can't remember the name of the book or author, but will try to find it. It was a good read.

Now, flip over the the Ku Klux Klan, and their attempts to revise history to make every problem in the world the fault of anyone with black skin, who they consider inferior to other races, or even non-human.

Painting a picture of how you wish history had happened, then scraping to gether lies and bits of information to press together a souse meat sandwich of history is disgusting. This lie machine takes away the very basis of historical study and honesty. Painting a race of people as evil, all great artists as gay, all American forfathers as saintly Christians is wrong, because it is inacurate. Let's stay away from it.

Online Discernment Ministries: Destroying lives and reputations

2009-05-23T09:01:00.004-04:00

For those of us in the Christian community who believe "In essentials, faithfulness; in non-essentials tolerance; in all things charity" the whirling storm of self appointed witch hunters have become a very real threat. As many of you know, a list was sent out last year with the names of Church of the Nazarene pastors, professors, and University presidents that have been labeled heretics because they are seen as being emergent-friendly. A call for their expulsion from schools and churches is ongoing, and will heat up over the next couple of weeks as that denomination prepares for it's General Assembly in Orlando in June.

Similar groups are active in other denominations. Some of the leaders are connected to what one bloger calls "Online Discernment Ministries", demanding that believers dress a certain way, use only hymns in worship, and use a very stringent theology. A fantastic blog by Richard Albanes
addresses these issues. One of his latest blogs centers on the ongoing assault against Calvary Chapel and their group of churches by these folks. I encourage Christians to read it in order to get a handle of what is happening in the church body.

Some of the teachings coming out of the ODM crowd:

Dispensational theology. Those believing any other interpretation of eschatology are heretics. Yes, pull out your graphs and charts to figure which "dispensation" we are in right now. Better dust off the King James Version Schofield Bible, non other will do. In fact, other translations and most study bibles are leading people straight into the lap of Satan!!

Penal substitution as the core of atonement. If you believe any of the other theological theories concerning atonement, you are headed to hell, baby.

Casual dress in church leads to hell. Lay your flip flops on the altar and pray through for some low heels with square toes. Men, your bright print ties are secretly filling you with homosexual longings!! Wear a manly stripe in dark colors!!!!

You know the story. Fire and Brimstone legalism mixed with emotional distress. If you want to read some of it firsthand, GO HERE .
Scary stuff.

The sad, sad part of this is that there are very real movements within Christianity that are heretical, and dangerous. Not much is being said about the Extreme prophetics and others that not only distort scripture, but con people out of money too.
The attacks on people who are serving God to the best of their ability over minor matters is ridiculous, yet gaining ground. It needs to stop.

Jesus of the Gospels

2009-05-14T09:57:00.002-04:00

Reading the gospels is something I have not concentrated on until the past couple of years. I have always dug into the Pauline epistles, and the Old Testament. I now stay in the gospels more than ever, and each page is a goldmine. Here are a few of the things I have learned:

Jesus was never mean or unkind with everyday people. He frustration was expressed with the people who turned worship into business, and those who made religion into a bunch of hoops to jump through.

Jesus said what He came to say in terms people could understand.

Jesus did not pick out one or two sins and rip people to shreds who committed them. He addressed a variety of sins, and did so in an intelligent and articulate way.

Jesus did not try to sell anybody anything, except for his carpentry work.

Jesus made it clear that He was the Son of God. Simple.

I think sometimes we want so desperately for people to get into church, follow the teachings of Jesus, etc. that we forget not to put the cart before the horse. We try to straighten people out so they will be worthy of God. None of us are worthy, and that method backfires. We can't straighten our own selves out, much less other people. We make things too complicated at times. I know I do. I want to show interested people the Jesus of the Bible. Not my own personal version of Him.

FWD FWD FWD FWD

2009-05-11T22:18:00.002-04:00

I NEVER forward email stories. Ever.

Not about the girl with cancer that wrote a song (untrue)

The kidnapped and pregnant missionary(untrue)

Madelyn Murray O'Hare wants to get Touched by an Angel taken off television. (UNTRUE) for one thing, she has been DEAD for a long, long time. Secondly, it was a sappy series and has been off the air for years.

The list goes on and on. The latest lie forwarded by Christians to me states that a movie entitled Corpus Christi the depicts Jesus and the disciples as being gay is about to be released.
FALSE. no such movie has been made, or is in the works.

I HATE forwarded stories, and delete them, usually without opening them. This time I did open them. I got this one from an elderly person, and again from a pastor. I will probably get it five or ten more times as it travels around the net.

here is the deal: Forwarded untrue stories makes Christians look like idiots. Particularly when it goes on and on about how sick and disgusting the topic matter is.
They are easy to check out at SNOPES

If it is important enough to send to a bunch of people, it is important enough to check for truth content. Important enough to clean up all the arrows and FWD marks, important enough TO CUT AND PASTE INTO A NEW EMAIL.

Is that really too much to ask?

Star Trek

2009-05-10T17:45:00.002-04:00

I went to see the movie this afternoon. I loved it. I have watched most of the Star Trek series, and have seen all the movies. What makes them special is the bond of friendship between Kirk and Spock, and the comradeship of the crew.

Please don't thing I am being flippant, but I see the crew of the Enterprise as being a lot like I think church should be. A crew that works together toward a common goal. Leadership not obsessed with money, but with doing excellent work. A group of people who bond together during a crisis, instead of turning on each other. People trained and skilled in their positions. No one elected to an office because of their family pull. A crew that does not set each other up for failure to make themselves look good.

People who truly want others to live long and prosper. Maybe church is the final frontier.

Chess

2009-05-08T22:32:00.002-04:00

I love to play chess. I am a very mediocre player, but find the game to be a real brain work out. I play online once in a while, but for the most part play against a computer program, and work out famous games on a board at home.

The basics of chess involve mentally calculating what the repercussions of my actions will be. If I move my knight, will he or my king be open for attack from the enemy? So many spiritual lessons to be learned from the game. So many life lessons, too. Look before you leap. That pretty much sums up chess!

Some people memorize patterns in the game, and act as a computer, calculating risk and making the best move. Others are passionate about the game. The board, chessmen, atmosphere of the room, etc. all go into their game plan. Are we believers so different? There are times when we are on autopilot spiritually. Much like the chess player who has no passion for the finer points of the game, but only in completing the goal. Other times in our lives we play with passion. The journey and all that goes with it add a rich, colorful background of our strategy.

Playing chess is a wonderful learning experience. So is life in Christ. They are not so different.

Clinging

2009-05-07T22:26:00.006-04:00

In a recent conversation, someone defended Todd Bentley. This person had been to Florida, and is a true believer in Bentley. Supposedly Bentley is being "restored" from having committed adultery. The fact that Bentley was a con artist, liar, and poser has never gotten through the skull of the colleague I was talking to. I don't believe you can restore someone to a position they never held to begin with. Bentley falls into this category.

Most of us outside of the Charismatic community (and a large number of those within) saw through the three ring circus Bentley held sway over last year. Common sense, scripture, and experience all pointed out the fakery.

I honestly think that some people need so desperately to see a miracle, they will cling to anything and anyone who seems to fit the bill. Their faith is a roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs, and no straight, level paths. They need something tangible to cling to.

What about those of us in other Christian traditions? Do we cling to a list of church membership rules, a tradition that has outlived it's purpose, or a building, or pastor from the past? Nothing or no one will ever measure up or be as good. We cling to that which is comfortable and familiar, and that which makes us feel holy.

Like the baseball player who rubs the rabbits foot in his pocket before going up to bat, we in the church hang on to the trinkets our faith has been built upon. Trinkets that can serve the good purpose of reminding us where we came from, but for too many believers they serve as demigods we pull out and pay homage to on occasion. Even when we know to do so is wrong.

As painful as it is, I have to put the trinkets of my faith in the attic. I can pull them out from time to time to serve as inspiration, but I can never put them front and center again. I can't put that favorite pastor who died long ago back in the pulpit. I can't deny that the building I have worshiped in needs to be remodeled to make room for more people. To do so removes Christ from the center of my faith and worship, and replaces Him with a trinket. Clinging to anything other than Christ removes Him from the throne of my heart.

Friend or Missionary?

2009-05-01T17:16:00.003-04:00

I have been a believer for many years. I have gone through changes, doubts, and amazing spiritual growth that can only happen during the darkest hours. I really think that if I were the same Christian I was five years ago, or ten or twenty years ago, I would be not only stagnant, but poisonous to fellow believers.

As I have walked the journey of faith (and sometimes lack of faith) I have met a wonderful variety of Christians who challenge me, provoke thought, and love to discuss the issues we face. people willing to admit their failures, and not judge me harshly for mine. Most of them have been in internet discussion forums, and some are old friends from college days.

Today my friend Alan posted a blog at the Believers Coffee Cafe that really reminded me of another group of Christians...the ones who see those who disagree with them as being in need of a missionary. People, I don't need a missionary sneaking into my life under the false guise of friendship. I need friends. If I disagree with you theologically or on matters of non eternal issues, we can discuss, debate, and drink coffee together. but don't try to witness to me as though I have lost my salvation. It is insulting and belittling.

Alan's blog was not about that group of people, but it did remind me of them. Relationships only work when there is mutual respect for differences of opinion. We have so much to learn from each other.

A PLACE TO DISCUSS AND DEBATE

2009-04-29T09:40:00.004-04:00

As I have posted before, I am not a big fan of Compolo, McLaren, & Co., but I think post moderns are making Christians think and rethink the way we do church. A breath of fresh air.

Some see emergents as being heretical and non biblical in their theology.

I decided to set up a discussion and debate forum aimed at the emergent church and their opponents. I am limiting discussion to Wesleyan oriented churches, to cut down on off topic debate, so Methodists, Nazarenes, Assemblies of God, Wesleyan, etc. have a place to connect and discuss. Please feel free to join and take part. Just set it up last night, so changes will be made as needed.
http://postmodern.ning.com/

2009-04-27T11:09:00.000-04:00

How we live out life in Christ depends to a large degree on our starting point theologically. For some, "Sola Scriptura" (scripture alone) is the point of embarkation on the believer’s life. For others, myself included, the Wesleyan Quadrilateral is the starting point. For me and my fellow Wesleyans, there are four different sources available while coming to theological conclusions:

The four sources are:
Scripture - the Holy Bible (Old and New Testaments)
Tradition - the two millennia history of the Christian Church , including the present
Reason - rational thinking and sensible interpretation
Experience - a Believer’s personal and communal journey in Christ

I wanted to post this so my readers can know where I start at, and the influence on some of my writings. So now you know!

When change is bad

2009-04-26T09:16:00.003-04:00

Chatting a little more about change. A church has great attendance at all of their services. They have services on Sundays, Sunday nights, and a midweek one as well. Large crowd comes out each week. Why would they decide to dump midweek services, and cut out Sunday nights as well?

A bad reason. Trendiness. That big church out in California said we should. Let's start small groups meeting in homes instead. Our older folks "just need to find something else to do". My radar alerts whenever I hear pastors telling a well attending congregation to stop attending. When he wants to shove the elderly in a corner and leave them.

Change because something no longer works is vital. Change just to change is foolish.

stones and such

2009-04-19T22:21:00.003-04:00

Change is hard. Scary. We in the church just hate it at times. We find it so much easier to stay where we are comfortable, adjusting our robes of self righteousness once in a while, and condemning anything new or fresh that may require a change in the way we structure our lives, our views and opinions, or church operational formats.

Today I heard a sermon that spoke on this issue. "It is easier to sit back and find fault and condemn a growing, thriving, living church across town than it is to look honestly at your own church and realize change is needed badly."

I agree with that. I had someone condemn my current church last week because there are no Wednesday night traditional services. Forget the fact that there is a Wed. night Bible study, youth group meeting, prayer meetings each weekday morning at 9:00 am, a college age service on Thursdays, and a Friday night prayer meeting.

If your church wants to sit mired in tradition and make no difference in our city, stay the way you are. Keep preaching against smoking and drinking and rock music and emergents. Refuse to be relevant in people's lives. But please don't condemn a church that is changing lives. Throwing stones at a church that is working hard for the kingdom is not cool.

The Last Words of Christ

2009-04-08T18:39:00.000-04:00

Matthew and Mark say that Christ cried out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me"?

In Luke, the last words of Christ are "Into your hands, Father, I commit my spirit".

John gives the last words a being "It is finished".

In passion plays and sermons we here all of these versions combined. The general idea being that Christ must have said all of these things. Fear that crying out to God about being forsaken needs a little more added to soften the words, perhaps.

I think that is a mistake. We miss out on the gut wrenching physical and emotional pain Christ went through, and the clear picture of the Jesus who came to Earth as a human when we combine the versions presented in the gospels. Matthew and Mark tell of Christ in turmoil...He knew the will of the Father, yet felt abandoned in the darkest, most lonely time. That speaks to me in a way the other gospels don't. Christ does understand my pain, my sorrow, my darkest hours. The comfort contained in those nine words is inexpressible.

"Into your hands, Father, I commit my spirit". A lady I knew who was dying took great comfort in those words. She knew Christ had been at the point of death, and trusted God with His very essence. She found courage to do the same. Those words spoke to her in a way they have not spoken to me...yet.

"It is finished" sums up the life of Jesus, His work and relationships, His purpose and His time to return to the Father. He had dinner with IRS agents, Broadway hookers, short men in trees, and was trashed by the upper echelons of the church. The District Superintendents wanted Him dead. They spread nasty rumors about Him that persist to this day. He did what He came to do. He loved deeply, explained the Way, provided wine when it ran out, and died for loving us.

Let's look at the accounts of the last words of Jesus separately. There is a different blessing in each.

Easter Musings

2009-04-08T12:53:00.000-04:00

I can’t quite comprehend the wonder of Easter, compared to the horror of the events on the Cross. The shock of the events, and the cost to our Savior is not something I can wrap my mind around. I guess that is what faith is for… dealing in our hearts with matters we can’t quite deal with in our minds.

I tend to dwell on Good Friday, and although I can gladly sing that He Is Risen on Sunday, and I believe it, I can’t understand it all. Was I worth the price? Were you?
I can not express my gratitude (or relief) that Jesus Christ has provided eternal life for us. I don’t understand it, I stopped trying. I am just glad. Eternal life and a basket full of candy…can it get any better?

Knowing God

2009-04-06T16:00:00.003-04:00

The dog says to itself: "He feeds me, grooms me, gives me shelter, plays with me, and tend to my every need. He must be God"

The cat says to itself:"He feeds me, grooms me, gives me shelter, plays with me, and tend to my every need. I must be God"

Sometimes the divisive mark in who we think God is, is attitude.

Good and Bad

2009-04-05T22:36:00.003-04:00

Sometimes good people who love the Lord do terrible things. King David is the epitome of some who follows God for years and still screws up big time on occasion. The penalty was high. It always is for a believer who chooses willingly to walk into sin. We who deal with the aftermath have to walk the tightrope of not condoning sin and not condemning the person. Not easy. I try to show the attitude I want shown towards me the next time I make a mess of mercy and grace. Fear, pride, lust, and greed seem to always lurk in the shadows for some people. Just waiting to hop on board and take over. Some fight the battle with all four.

Once in a while a really bad person does something wonderful or heroic or kind. That is harder to explain, isn't it? We can say that their motives were not as pure as their deeds, but if the drug dealer pulls me out of a burning building, I don't care if he is doing it to get in good with the court system or not. I am grateful. Sort of wrecks the idea of total depravity, IMO. While I don't believe we are totally free of sin in our walk towards holiness, I don't think sin everyday in word, thought, and deed either.

Build an Ark

2009-04-05T09:51:00.003-04:00

When I read the story of Noah's ark, I get a profound sense of comfort. The point of the story, in my opinion, is that when the floods of life come roaring down around us, God normally has a way to keep our heads above water. Sometimes we refuse to get on the ark. We don't like the other occupants. They may bite us or make a big mess. We would rather risk drowning spiritually or emotionally than be stuck on a ship with a bunch of animals. Yet, the way out is normally there if we will get on board. Sometimes we keep thinking things will get better, and we wait around until it is too late, and the ship has sailed. Been there, done that. More than once.

The point seems obvious to me. The ark represents Jesus. Noah represents faith. The animals represent our fellow believers.

Sometimes we become so rooted in literal interpretations of stories that we fail to see the point, or the Savior the story is pointing towards. We miss the ark entirely.

Obsession

2009-03-24T14:43:00.003-04:00

Something came up in converstation the other day that made my mind wander back to a fellow I knew who studied Revelation and Daniel. Constantly. On his lunchbreak, at night, and weekends. He did not attend Sunday school unless the topic was the end times. His wife said he would not sit down and watch television with her, or take her out to eat. He was obsessed with pouring over maps and charts, and trying to unlock mysteries hidden in scripture. He stopped attending his church for a long while because the pastor told him he would not be preaching on eschatology, as it was not relevant to people's lives, and that he had yet to meet anyone that knew what it was all about anyhow, present company included.

I worked with this man for a few years. He was arrogant, pushy, and had horrible body odor. He said deodorants were like bottled water..unecessary and expensive. His greatest joy was to lead a fellow believer into an argument about Revelation. I refused to take his bait, as there was no discussion involved. Only argument and proof texting, which I hate anyhow since you can make your bits of scripture say whatever you want.

We have all known folks who were obsessed with their denomination's policies and doctrine.
People that are obsessed with one particular translation, and all other translations are evil.
Those who are consumed with the Old Testament, and convincing Christians to return to Torah and back under the law.

Obsession within the faith causes us to not see the big picture God has painted.
We are not pointing toward Jesus when we obsess.
We become far removed from context and critical thinking.
We damage unbelievers.
We become blind to our own faults and failures, and percieve sin in the lives of those who merely disagree with our interpretations.

Let's avoid the treadmill of religious obsession. Treadmills never really take you anywhere, regardless of the energy you put into it.

Abra Kadabra

2009-03-23T12:59:00.002-04:00

I heard something recently during a public prayer that made my ears perk up and my eyes roll.

"Holy Spirit, I release you into this congregation".

Umm...are you serious? You can release ushers with guns, youth groups on a sugar high, or pit bulls with spiked collars into the congregation, but skipper, you have no control over the Holy Spirit. I am not sure what you may think you have caged, but if you think it is the Spirit of the Everlasting God, the Comforter, you better check again.

You are not a magician, the H.S. is not a rabbit you pull out of a hat. I don't care what the people at International House of Prayer out in Kansas City have told you, or how much money you have poured into "prayer training", you have no authority or control over any member of the Trinity.

Got it?

God or Substitute?

2009-03-22T22:02:00.002-04:00

Last minute change in speakers at church today. The preacher said something that really summed up what so many of us have done at some point in time: allow someone or even a church full of folks who have hurt or deeply offended us to replace God. We meditate upon these people, view fellow believers through these people, and let them incapacitate our lives instead of letting God invigorate our lives.

Been there. Still struggle with it from time to time. Sometimes we work so hard not to let jobs, television, carnal desires, or materialism take the place of God, yet put people of pain up on our altars of worship. I believe it takes a conscious effort to remove them. Daily. When hearing a name triggers the hurt all over again. If we spend more time mulling over our wounds that we do communing with the Lord, we have serious problems. We will dry up and be worthless to the Kingdom.

I will work harder to keep God in front, and the people of pain in the past where they belong.

Private Worship

2009-03-21T20:34:00.002-04:00

I have found that praying in a darkened room with a candle or two helps me concentrate on the spiritual matters at hand. The dark keeps my eyes away from computer screens, cell phones, stacks of books and newspapers. Instead of thinking "Oh, I need to squeeze in a few blabs of duty prayer", I actually look forward to my scheduled time of contemplative prayer. Not only do I talk to my creator, I come away feeling relaxed and more at peace, instead of rushed , hurried, and guilty that I feel rushed and hurried.

Sadly, schedules are a part of our lives. We are so busy as compared to folks of even fifty years ago. Prayer and other devotional activities need to be something we look forward to, not something we get out of the way so we can keep chugging along.

Setting a peaceful mood and scheduling a once a week serious prayer time has helped me tremendously. My walk deepens because of it.

Book Review : Coming To Peace With Science

2009-03-19T09:19:00.004-04:00

I am currently reading "Coming To Peace With Science" by Darrel Falk. Excellent book by a scientist and professor of biology, and a committed Christian. While theistic evolutionists have detractors on both sides of the fence, I find myself able to finally say outloud what I have believed since my days in the classroom at Trevecca Nazarene University: I can believe in the shed blood of Christ, the inspiration of scripture, and evolutionary processes. Science and faith are compatable for the thinking believer.

Falk tells of his own mental anguish as a believer presented with overwhelming evidence of an old Earth. Even if you are a die hard Darwinian Evolutionst and athiest, or a firm literal Creationist, this book is worth a read. If, like me, you think evolution is a part of God's creation process, you may find the technical data interesting.

Changes to the Eclectic Well

2009-03-18T09:04:00.010-04:00

I decided to do a little makeover here at the blog. The photo of the cemetery is mine. I volunteer for Findagrave and spend a great deal of time in cemeteries photographing graves. The new photo was taken this Autumn at Riverside Cemetery in Macon, Georgia. I plan to post more photos as time goes on. I think it represents the hope of heaven, the beauty and variety of colors in the body of Christ, and the deadness in so many churches.

A few folks had asked about my church experience. Although my membership is still in the Church of the Nazarene, I attend both a very upbeat but conservative AOG church, and a very liberal but formal UMC fellowship. Balance, you know. If there were a Naz church in my area that was progressive, I would be there. Right now that is just not available, and I doubt that it will be here in Georgia. Here is a link to the type of thinking I can not grasp. Fundamendalism is alive and well. In a denomination that is not supposed to be fundamendalist. Add my views to the pain of the church splits I struggled to overcome, and I had to leave to recover.

Am I emergent? Halfway, I suppose. I don't camp out with the Compolo/McClaren crowd, do have some theological concerns with the hardcore Village folks, but the emergents have been a breath of fresh air in the Church of the Nazarene. A very good thing. Reminds me of an old tv show called "It's About Time, It's About Space", where astronauts get thrown back in time to the stone age. I hope that the questions being asked will knock the legalism out of the CON.

Here, by the way, are some things that need to change in the CON if it is to stay alive and grow(IMO):

Take seriously questions concerning our world presence, but lack of world representation on the Board of General Superintendants.

Do away with the "Covenant of Christian Conduct" which, although the name has changed, is still a list of man made membership rules. We have lost a lot of wonderful Christian people with talents and gifts that could have been used in our little part of the kingdom because of man made rules superceding the Holy Spirit. This one list of rules has caused more division and church splits than we can count. You can't control people. You can only minister and encourage, and trust the Holy Spirit to convict.

Become more interactive with other denominations. On a local level, this is imperative if we are going to minister to the homeless, the abused, and the poor.

Stop taxing churches. The Budget payments stunt the growth of small churches, and reduce the outreach of mid size churches. Changing the name of the tax did not hide what it is.

Use more care in deciding who is available to serve in District Superintendant capacities. We need fresh leadership. The good old boys are more concerned with denominational loyalty and tax collecting than producing churches that serve as Christ did.

Refinement

2009-03-16T23:38:00.003-04:00

God is in the process of refining us. That process, however, requires something on our part: humility. The people I have known during my life who truly were walking in step with God had one thing in common: They were the first to admit their faults and failures. No pride, or covering up or hiding some aspect of their lives. None of the phony holiness that is so common. There was no doubt that they were in a process, and acknowledged that the process was not complete.

Some of those people had gone through great tragedy. Humiliation. Disappointment. Loneliness. They were broken. There was nothing about them to make me think they thought themselves to be better or more holy than anyone else. That is where the light of God shown through their lives.

I have not gotten to that point yet. The point of saying "yes, Lord" every time. That is the goal. I have far to go.

Saying Grace

2009-03-16T21:34:00.002-04:00

I try to remember to give a prayer of thanks before meals. Sometimes, with pizza or some other unhealthy food choice, I may actually ask forgiveness for what I am about to intake. I don't think prayer before meals is necessary unto salvation.

Nor is it particularly a good witness to the waiter who is slaving on Sunday afternoon , and could not go to church if he wanted due to his work schedule while we saunter in after church and chow down. (This is normally where a chick tract gets left instead of a tip by some church going diners). Lightning does not strike if we don't offer up prayers over the two-for twenty at Applebee's. I say grace because I am grateful, and because for me it is a sign of respect to God. Yet, I don't always remember. Sometimes I forget.

For those of us who plunge into the spinach dip with out first begging forgiveness for our caloric crusade, there is always the grace squad to remind us of our wrong doing.

You know, I don't stop unbelieving friends, demand they put down their forks, and then offer up prayers. I have been in situations where that happened. I have been with believers who arrived at the table after everyone else had begun to eat, and ask: "Did anyone say grace"? If the crowd mumbles "No", the person bows their head and begins praying. I think it is rude and unnecessary.

And then there are the hand- holding- around -the- table- folks. They wait for everyone to hold hands before saying grace. Dude, I just WASHED THE GERMS OFF MY HANDS, and now I have to grab hold of hacking Helen on the right and Tanner teenager on the left. Then I am supposed to eat. Without leaving to wash my hands again. ~Shudder~

No one likes being treated like a child. Somehow it always seems to happens at Red Lobster after church.

THE STARE

2009-03-15T13:10:00.001-04:00

Have you ever gotten the stare at a church service, small group, or other gathering of believers?
The STARE that drills a hole through you, and lets you know that either you are dressed wrong, are wearing too much of something, be it jewelry, makeup or some other non- essential- to- eternity thing?

Normally the folks who fuss so have been fussed at themselves in the past, and gave up their hoop earrings for the GLORY OF GOD, and now pressure others to conform. Sort of like sorority hazing. Praise God!! Others have been taught that such things are evil, and have bought whatever has come down from the almighty pulpit. Or the denominational headquarters. Constructive thinking is sometimes discouraged .

I have a friend who went to a church only to have a man stare at her angrily. Then she looked around to see a lot of folks staring angrily. The Holy Eyeball. My friend had not been a believer long. A few days, in fact. She wore her best outfit to church. Leopard print jacket, black short skirt, and fishnet hose. She did not speak Christianese yet, and had no concept of church clothes vs. other types of clothes. Her hair was dyed, her makeup was heavy, and she was a baby Christian in need of fellowship. The church she went to gave her instead an ultimatum: Change the way you dress. Or perhaps our church can't meet your needs.

That was many years ago, and she was terribly hurt and confused. She did not give up. She walked into a different church the next Sunday, and has been a dynamic part of that congregation for many years. She can even laugh about it now. She is now in her 60's, and still wears leopard skin on occasion. She did, for the sake of peace, give up the fish net hose.

We had a guy in my old church that would snatch caps off of teen boys who wore them in the Sanctuary. Wow. What a witness. We all know how God hates hats.

My friend made me feel convicted enough, and the hat snatcher made me angry enough that a few years ago I called a teenager from my church I had asked not to wear a scant outfit she favored while ringing handbells in the handbell choir I conducted at the time. I had to apologize. Like other Christians , I had confused good manners with things that are important in eternity.

Before I speak out on things, I now try to ask myself first: Is it important in eternity? Will my speaking on this matter hurt or embarrass someone to the point they can't see eternity through the pain?
I never want my ideas or personal tastes or convictions to keep someone else away from the Body of Christ, or heaven.

Learning to walk all over again

2009-03-14T21:31:00.004-04:00

At a time in my spiritual walk when I felt everything was falling apart, and I was more agnostic than anything else, I read two books that salvaged my faith. One convicted me, one started me on the road to healing. I was in bad shape. Two huge church splits, loss of friends, false accusations, and being trashed by a large number of people in the church ,and walking in the door of the church with a constant sense of dread. What would happen THIS service?
After the dust settled a bit, I really struggled. I once felt great joy in church, anticipated every service. Now I felt nothing. Dead inside. People kept telling me I "needed to get over it, move on, get back WORKING IN THE CHURCH." I could not. I sat in the overflow room and stared and daydreamed until the services were over. Inside I had dried up. And I left.

When Bad Christians Happen To Good People by Dave Burchett held a mirror up to my face and showed me the type of believer I had become. The kind I railed against in college. The kind I swore I would never be. A Religious Snob. The kind that speaks Christianese, associates mostly with church folks, and who put church attendance above everything and everyone.

Soul Survivor by Phillip Yancey helped get me on the road to restoration of faith. His story is a very honest one, and one that quite a few of us have gone through: Disgust not with God, but with believers who are racists, and mean spirited.

A few ideas in these books that have transformed my thinking:

The basic message of Christ is redemption, not condemnation.
Ethics and morals are not owned by Christians alone.
Committee meetings are not more important than meeting with and serving people.
Division, Derision, and Diversion destroy people. They are in place in many churches.
All people have souls, even the annoying ones.
Tolerating racists remarks, dirty looks, or jokes in the pulpit or Bible Study group is inexcusable regardless of how much money the person puts in the plate.
Covering up for the board member who is having an affair while asking the gay guy to leave is hypocritical.
Anti intellectualism retards growth in knowledge, understanding, and scholarship in understanding scripture.
We don't fulfill our commission to spread the gospel when we refuse to listen and discuss the concerns or problems skeptics and doubters have.
Chick tracts are an embarrassment to the church. Pictures of priests and nuns burning in hell because they are Catholic wins no one to Christ.
It is a lot easier to confess someone else's sins than our own
Fear as an evangelistic tool has little long term results.

A lot to ponder, but great food for thought. The spiritual road we travel is full of holes. I don't want to dig any more than are already there.

My first Sunday in a new church, the person making announcments said that this is a safe place where we don't judge you or condemn you. You are safe here. Wow. Never heard that before.
So, my road to spiritual recovery continues, as has moved along the past few years. I have changed a lot. For the better, I think. I no longer want to be a Bad Christian that happens to good people.